Ded Leeves

 It doesn't feel like I'm putting much effort into having fun, but DAAANG, I've been having some FUN lately. As Brandy reminded me today: "time flies when you're having fun" and in just one more year our daughters will be fifteen - which we designated as the age they have to be to watch these adorable video interviews I did of them back when our families lived together. They were only like, eight or nine and fifteen seemed so far off at the time. Today we celebrated Genevieve's fourteenth birthday with a tea party at Miramont castle in Manitou Springs. 

We also recently went to a Halloween party on the other side of town, the multi-layer dip with a spider web of sour cream and spider made of black olive was impressive.

Oh, and did I mention MY MOM GOT TO STAY WITH US FOR A MONTH! She left October 25th as we were just getting used to her. haha:)

And on Friday the 13th, a group of friends and coworkers went to a horror themed burlesque show at La Burla Bee. "Jason WhoreTease" c'mon, that's silly.

Very good times. This year has been solid, and this season has been oh, so sweet. 

Double You Nine Lives

Adsense just told me to fill out a W-9. That's kinda neat - I can have advertisements on my YouTube and blog and make money from them. After about ten years I've accumulated like, six dollars. Which I can't get paid until I reach a minimum of $100 in revenue. I don't put much effort at all into these things, but it's still neat thinking about it.

There was a customer at work today that said our Talavera Siesta Planter was offensive to Mexicans. Yes, she was a white lady. She said it may be seen as "Mexicans are lazy" and I said that I hadn't thought of it that way. Then again, I have been taking a lot of naps these days and don't consider myself lazy. Even though I've only made $6 in ten years off my online content. 

We got a kitten a few weeks ago! Her name is Sombra and I love her and her paws and claws:

She sure does poop and pee and nap a lot.

Tooz-Daze N 2022!!!

The kids and I set a goal to share a two-minute video every Tuesday in 2022. Clearly, we are not used to putting forth this amount of effort into our creative endeavors together as a family - each of us gives a crap about different things. BUT, we all love watching YouTube and all desire to get better at making content for this platform because it is just so open and wild. Enjoy!

Smelling Goot

Hi everyone/anyone! It's Friday! So WHAT?!

Definitely preferring me some Fridays lately, maybe because I've been majorly slacking on my Monday open mic nights, which is KILLING me. Still, love me a Friday. Random singing is returning to my life, produced an amazing song during my bath last night. Not recorded, just sang. Fleeting artistic expression in just vibrations and breath. Pretty. Temporary, like all of it. When I perform, this is what I find. Memories, feelings and experiences are the stuff people try so hard to hold onto. They could be continually making more and accepting that more of that good stuff CAN and WILL come to be. Dwelling on old memories as golden days has a down side. "Did I peak?" "What if this is as good as it gets?"

Let's create new, incredible experiences. With the amassed knowledge that comes with existing longer and longer in this realm, it will be so much fun. Grab your lovers, family and friends by the hands and enjoy life! Kiss them babies, eat the potatoes, grow out the beard, try the gadgets, smell the blossoms, and squish your butt into the laundry basket on the video chat.

TrappR KeepR

The end of this week is wiping me out, bruh. Shouldn't have had any amount of fast food, much less the amount I consumed within the last few days.

INNIE WAIZE, it's going to be a magnificent weekend. Hiking, jamming, friending, parenting, healthing, stealthing, wealthing, breathing, and hopefully slightly less itchy eyeballs.

I'm bringing some wine over to a friend's house for some pizza and mommy times tonight. A friend recently moved to our side of town with kids my kids ages and I'm STOKED. Love me some west side shenanigans.

Last week I was recognized while I was out and about for my performance at the open mic I do regularly. What a cool celebrity status moment. haha. Being weird on a stage is paying off... sort of. This past week I stuck around and jammed with the bartender and another regular patron, we got so metal and it felt sooooo gooooooood to freak the fun out... for the one audience member that is also the host. She did say we're her new favorite band:D

Yesterday was emotionally rough AF, lots of crying and vulnerability thinking about how abused I was for so long. It's inexcusable. I mean, fast food doesn't help, but shit... SAD. How are you going to allow yourself to screw up so badly for so long? My entire soul rejects that possibility from ever stepping foot in my heart again. I love myself and my children. Many folks love me and my children. The wisdom of my grandma whispers in my ear "you're doing fine". It's only when some awful desperation settles in that my mind receives this lie on repeat telling me that the bullshit is unavoidable and probably deserved. Kindness, however, is undeserved. RIIIIIIIGHT. Done with that lie. Infinite access to love and joy is real, buddy. So eat my butt.

More VooDoo News Dude

Spent the past weekend in Denver. It's not a crime to be a topless woman there. I also got more of them VooDoo Doughnuts. You know it.

I took many walks down Colfax and my friend Emily had never visited the city before so we were little explorers. We walked to an open mic on Saturday at Wild Corgi Pub. Sammy Anzer performed and Alex told me later that he stole a South Park joke that I laughed at. After the show Emily went off with new friends. I went back to my cousin's place and went to sleep. The next day we walked some more and met many people and helped a man named Derrick that spent all his money on weed because he sure is honest. I guess. Walking is what's up. Freedom is what's up too.

Emily and I have several videos we're dying to post on some platform, maybe right on this-here blog. We have much entertainment and fun to provide to the people. I'll make it a point to put some videos on here this evening. The video of Emily topless in Denver will be a fun one:)

In Formation

Hiyeeeee. I'm hosting a comedy show tomorrow in Pueblo, Colorado. I don't have any "material" per se, but I'm an improvisor anyways. Brittney Geisler booked this gig and while we're not getting money, we're gaining some pretty sweet experience for a couple of dorks with a year under our belt of regularly performing. Later this month I'm also recording some vocals with the delicious Ferret and his funky, fresh vibes. This past week saw some interesting collaborations at the open mic. I'm feeling the need to focus on some solo stuff in the nearest future possible.

The kids will be in school next week, it's going to be great for them. Naomi and I have been enjoying our Minecraft time, however. I punched a horse to death in front of her two foals. It was nothing like real life. Naomi and I need to work on a cartoon, she has already animated some little, fun things - a duck farting, "LOL" "memes" etc etc. What a li'l genius. Roland spiked his hair this morning before I left for work and I complimented him and he thanked me. It was just adorable. He came into my room before I got out of bed and just looked at me with his sweet face.

I spent the night at my cousins' (Matthew and Alex) place over the weekend. They live less than a mile from VooDoo Doughnuts in Denver and we walked there and got doughnuts, including but not limited to the bacon maple bar (my favorite). They are in an amazing location. Dangerous (because of the proximity to doughnuts).

BYEEEEEEE

Zoomba

Roland turned six on Monday - he seems even younger somehow. Kids DO NOT grow up "SOOOOO FAST". They take forever to reach maturity compared to so many other mammals. Six years we've been able to keep him alive and he is still all little and helpless. He's getting pretty good at reading though, I guess.

Oh, and I went to a Zombie Prom themed party on Friday, danced my brains out. I used red decorative gel (for desserts) for the blood and green for a big ol' booger and some rotting parts. Zombies aren't my favorite thing, but I was asked to go and love costumes. Roland wore a ripped white shirt over a red shirt so he could be a zombie too (he did not go to the prom though). There was a vendor selling jewelry there and I got a scorpion pin. Love it. The new job is great too, WAY better for my brain/strengths. Alright, back to working on music. Open mic is tomorrow.

Sweaterz

"HeeeEeeeeY"

A lovely woman named Theresa gave me a couple sweaters recently - people are darling!

I'm attempting to pin down some lyrics for this track:

It's not always easy, or ever easy. Either it's difficult to put something into words, or it was difficult before putting it into words.

Tomorrow I start training for a new job at a call center, just answering billing questions and taking payments and doing stuff in peoples accounts and hopefully rising to the top of the company and smoking cigars and owning a sports team or whatever. Can you own a tennis player? It's just a one person team and seems somehow wrong, doesn't it? I guess I should at least TRY to own a tennis player one day.

Tuesday was my last day at a temporary job helping at a voter service and polling center as a supervisor. It was actually quite exciting being in a position like that, my team was fantastic and I was able to connect with all of them - they seemed to appreciate my temperament too. I'd like to thank my dad for the natural leadership abilities, he ran a business and lead a team of workers excellently. You certainly cannot demand respect from people, but it will come when they see your impressive work ethic and the pride you take in a job well done. When it becomes hectic or there are setbacks, solutions are there. We ran out of a form and someone went and made copies. We had huge crowds and got them all taken care of. I saw someone getting worn out and gave them a more manageable task. All with a smile because that junk was FUN and no one was even close to dying so there was nothing to freak out about. A couple of friends came in to vote too. A familiar face is such a delight!

Open mic night on Monday was also really fun, I laughed heartily when Oshee stood with the mic stand oddly dragging between his legs. I received a copy of an experimental spoken-word recording from Brandon. Matt can improvise so flawlessly when a heckler arises. Sarah is an amazing poet that gets on stage and delivers hilarious one-liners. Dude with a moustache poured his cringey heart out. George did weird stuff (very well!) What a night. I'm determined to perform next time. Therapy yesterday was great too - the last few minutes were spent gushing over Tim & Eric. Haha.

Ga$$ed Up

This morning a thick, wet blanket of snow weighed the city down. Who wants to wake up when it's so cold and snowy out there? ME! It makes everything prettier and it's not the dry, powdery crap either, this is snowball quality! I drove the kids to school then stopped to get gas, turning the snow atop the car into sopping balls to throw in the air and watch plop on the ground, splattering while shattering - splashing while crashing - mushing while crushing - WHERE IS MY HAIR MOUSSE?!

Karaoke tomorrow. It's fun. Love Shack. Perhaps a Nickelback song. Why not? People don't want to admit it, but the audience will probably be singing along and okay with it. It was simply on the radio a little too much during it's day and being recognizable made it easy to diss since not many were into it enough to defend it. I don't care if someone openly admits to disliking Dave Matthews Band or Smash Mouth either. I should also do some Smash Mouth at karaoke.

Things are working out. It would be nice to have one of my brothers move out here to live for a bit and help pay for an apartment. Once I get a job and a couple pay stubs I'll be looking for a place, Jarred should come! MOM! Are you reading my blog?! SEND JARRED IN A MONTH! HE'LL BE 21 AND WE WILL PARTY SOOO RESPONSIBLY! HE CAN PLAY HIS GUITAR AT OPEN MIC AND GET A FREE DRINK! haha.

MegaFertz

This past Monday was pretty fun: Matthew and I wrote a beloved commercial for a made up product called Güpleflorp and I even made a bit of bizarre background music and a jingle and we read it aloud at the open mic. There's this regular that's always in a tie-dyed shirt named Tom that only got to see the last bit of the skit - but he was digging it and we had a great conversation that night. Eventually we'll turn it into a commercial to share online.

I'm in the process of trying to get a position at a local marketing agency working on dem SEOs. I also got some help signing the kids up for before and after school care, which is an immense relief for me getting a regular jorb. Now I just have to do a million tiny things to complete whatever the process is - get immunization records, physicals, initial here, sign there, come up with $100 for fees, and boom - I'll be dead.

Hahaha.

Ugh, my tummy hurts. Perhaps I shouldn't gorge myself on rotisserie chicken and gallons of coffee. Coffee that must not contain any freakin' CAFFEINE! P.O. Boxes are kind of expensive. And how weird to have a 3" x 5.5" box, aren't there supposed to be three dimensions? The depth isn't listed anywhere.

HEY - I have a gut feeling that things are going my way *BUT* it is unfortunately, sporadically, and intensely overcome by depression, which is exhausting. Like a heavy train chugging along until an unforeseen force brings it to an abrupt halt. Getting back up to speed over and over again wears on me and the halts are manifesting in the form of physical sickness. Insane hives, a never ending cold, nausea, tiredness. Certainly this is temporary, I recognize my NEED to prioritize self care now. AND to pace myself and be smart. I have somewhere to live, people that care, children that are nothing less than divine gifts, freedom, creativity, strength, rotisserie chicken, coffee, lunchables. Yeah... things are going my way.

Gar(b)age Sale!

Made $5 today off a sword I got for free last night! Also, Google photos reminded me that I'm not as chunky anymore, which is kinda cool.

UGH, I'm a cute li'l dumplin'. Yeah, the one with the clown doll is from today, a friend is selling them at our garage sale. SO MANY of them. 

Also, I'm selling the lemonade business - $20 and highly profitable! Just add kids (and lemonade).

Life is change - I need to move soon, not sure where to yet. If you have any ideas, please, let me know! 

Hertz

My body is so sore right now. When I get to a gym (not often enough) I really go wild. Yes, it hurts. There's no catching up on what should be regular exercise. I have been losing a bit of weight over the summer, it's nice to hear a friend say I "just keep getting skinnier". I've been keeping lighter by not eating a ton. Getting some weight exercises in makes me strong and way happy.


The beautiful and talented Charlotte Rogers performed at open mic on Monday. Man, her sweet voice tickles my soul. She wants to jam with me! Oh, the possibilities!


Right now I'm at... THE LIBRARY! duh. Was just working on my resume and a cover letter and I'm going to DHS later to ask for sad, poor people money to keep me alive and crap. Haha. Ugh. What a shame that I happen to be so poor. This too shall pass. I enjoy working. Just need to focus on the work that pays I guess.


Dang, I love people.   

Dunking Doughnuts

Hey gang. At the library again. Computer #37. Let me just say: I look great today. Makes me feel great. It's going to be a wonderful week, there have been many wonderful weeks these days - excitement and shared wisdom and enough extraverted communication and deep conversation to keep me stimulated and brimming with bubbly, annoying levels of joy. It's MEEEEEE - APRIIIIIIIL!

Who doesn't love a confident weirdo?! (I know some people don't and I'd really like an explanation.)

Possibilities aplenty. So plentiful it may be hard to focus, especially with this librarian's amazing and stylish ponytail right in front of me, uuugggh cute. Also, there's a dude here with sunglasses on (indoors) that include a frame for his third eye. hahahahaha. haha. ha. WOKE.

The kids being in school is insane to me. What a privilege. They even feed them?! wow. Tonight is the delightful open mic. I've got some phone calls to make and then some driving to do and then some lunch to eat and some life to live and some energy to burn on the stuff I actually CHOOSE to do. Can you tell I'm out from under the heavy weight of depression? It's possible! It's possible and it's HERE! I can achieve success!!! AAAHHH!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA  AAAAHHH!!!! (I guess)

Oh, The Srimp!

Annie. The orphan. What an amazing character. My daughter saw the play live a few months back and then while at the library she saw the movie and we checked it out and I watched it - perhaps for the first time in my life all the way through. Carol Burnett, Tim Curry, Zaddy Warbucks, Sandy (as himself), etc. WOW, I loved the poop out of it!

Speaking of loving the poop out of something: Jack Stauber! What glorious lessons there are to be learned through the ever-evolving art of animation. Here's one of my favorites:



Soon I'll have a ton of time available to find a job that doesn't suck and then I will GET that job. That's what I believe.

Last night was another delightful karaoke adventure - Celine Dion, Weird Al, Offspring, Aladdin's Whole New World. Things are moving right along and time is well spent. Speaking of time well spent, I'm off to draw some Adventure Time characters with Naomi and then eat a chicken sandwich for dinner. PEACE.

Tim Time :(

Time to discuss Tim. He's a yeller. He yells at his kids for several minutes straight because he doesn't know how to cope with his own stress. My kids and I planned on going to the river today and Tim was coming to the house to take his kids since he has joint custody with his ex-wife, my roommate. We kindly invited Tim to follow us there if he would like. Things were okay for a while, then the cork popped and for 15 minutes he yelled at the kids. He yelled at them for being too far, for being on rocks, for getting wet, for forgetting to bring towels, for finding raspberries, for taking too long to get their shoes on, and probably for other reasons that I didn't quite catch while I attempted to relax by a lovely river.

Here is my face in the 12th minute:

Some people have no clue what they're doing to the people around them. I told Tim that he yells a lot. He started saying things like, "well I'm going through stuff with my landlord... I had a hard day at work... I woke up late... etc. etc" I said, "Tim, those are all excuses and have nothing to do with me. I'm still hearing you yell a lot." He said, "I know" then continued yelling at his kids immediately. He only allows himself to live in the miserable moments and can't see what is right in front of him. Can't even appreciate this absolutely GORGEOUS environment. My kids got their shoes on and we were gone without saying goodbye and had a yummy dinner at La Casita!

All-in-all it was an amazing day! Naomi turned 9 today and I was able to get her the full version of Minecraft (she previously just had the pocket edition on her tablet and it was killing her when she couldn't do something that a YouTube video described because it wasn't meant for the pocket edition). We had a picnic lunch at a park where they have free pottery and poetry class-type-things, then went to the nearby Penny Arcade and had a blast. After that we came home to make sure Tim could get his kids. If children planned out our days here and there, we would all be much better off. As for Tim, all I can do is be a good example and wait until he asks for advice before giving him any - he assumes I'm a godless heathen for not believing what he does.

Bonus Side-Story!!!

There was a homeless man at La Casita named Anthony that was close to having a heat stroke when I arrived. We had a great discussion about life and by the time he left he had amazing energy. He has a 15 year old daughter and his ex and her new husband dislike him greatly. I let him know they had plenty of life left to live. He nearly started crying and said he really needed to hear that. I gave him a big hug and it was obvious he didn't get those very often. From near heat stroke to renewed spirit in under 10 minutes or your money back! That's the April Compo guarantee.

Jumble Booque

Science parties are where it's at. We drove about an hour east into rural Calhan where the stars are MUCH more visible. Here, Jason is enjoying a drink with dry ice in it. 

Below you will see an impressive corn starch fueled fire

Moving on to the next day, my little niece! She is so great and SO hungry. I'm told she was born smacking her tongue, ready for some booby:)

Happy 39th anniversary to my parents, I made my mom a carrot cake. She always makes sure she's there for us when we need her. Dad is so generous in sharing her and keeping her so happy.

Tasted real good. Just a box cake with homemade cream cheese frosting, walnuts and the same cream cheese frosting with food coloring splooged about in semi carrot shapes.

Her favorite

No Such Thang

I'm of the opinion that boredom isn't a real thing. It's a shame that some can't think of ANYTHING to do, but here's the thing: there is ALWAYS something to do. Even if it's stupid and pointless, we have the time and freedom to use our lives in any way we see fit. Even if we end up in prison for it. Or dead. Whatever. Now watch my dumb face use roasted seaweed to fashion a variety of mustaches!

Playhouse 3.0

I'm on my third try with the kid's playhouse and I think I did it good. It gets rebuilt just about once a year because I get an itch to build. There was a neighbor throwing out some glass doors so I snagged one for one of the walls. I still need to do a bit more work to make it looks slightly less ghetto, but it is definitely the most fun and big playhouse yet. I'm even planting a garden right outside the glass wall so we can watch it grow. There were a butt-load of rocks all up in that dirt that I had to get outta there, but I love dirt.

A saw would help but all I had was scrap wood, a screw gun and screws. I think we'll get a saw to cut some trim, a door, and hack off some unnecessary overhanging wood on the front. The flower on the front makes me happy and there's even a little dollar store wind chime hanging on the front. The end.