"Hello?"
-"This is 2016, first off: congratulations on not being a celebrity"
"Thanks!"
-"Secondly, it was just a prank bro!"
The Infinite Ramblings of April Compo
Friday, December 30, 2016
Buh Nanaz
"Hello?"
-"This is 2016, first off: congratulations on not being a celebrity"
"Thanks!"
-"Secondly, it was just a prank bro!"
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
In Fact-uation
My eyeballs are dry and itchy. My armpits are moist and unsettling. It's that time of the day again, the time of day that I would rather go home than stay at work for another hour and a half. Been sitting here with a space heater in my cold office, but the space heater is so hot and drying. I dug into my cuticle too far with a cuticle trimmer earlier - thumbs are chock full o'blood! My cuticles are just so dry, as are my nostrils. I work at work too, but all that usually gets washed out of my brain because it has never been interesting to anyone I enjoy talking with regularly. I suppose it makes for a nice cover-up job for a super hero. "What? SHE'S the shape-shifting vigilante from the news?! But, she's just some stupid customer service rep for a data center in a not-very-big city that told me all about 95th percentile bandwidth billing!"
Lord help me.
On the plus side, I figured out how to use the sauna in the women's locker room up in this building. There's a gym here too. If there's a way to sneak out everyday at around 4:00 and just sit in the sauna, I'd be on a much better schedule. Actually, I'd like to demand a hot tub be installed as well. Aw heck, why not a margarita dispenser too? Tequila is my faaaaaaavorite. Then I'll be in the news for dying of dehydration or alcohol poisoning instead of for saving orphans from a burning building by shape-shifting into an elephant for the children to ride to safety on, then using my water-filled trunk to put the fire out. Then I shape-shift into an eagle to make my exit, although my powers don't limit me to just animals, but that's what I would probably want to become the most. Animals are my faaaaaaavorite. Speaking of animals, I recently watched the live-action Jungle Book and it is spectacular. The story line is better and little Mowgli is so great to watch. I will always love the animated version too.
Lord help me more than that.
Lord help me.
On the plus side, I figured out how to use the sauna in the women's locker room up in this building. There's a gym here too. If there's a way to sneak out everyday at around 4:00 and just sit in the sauna, I'd be on a much better schedule. Actually, I'd like to demand a hot tub be installed as well. Aw heck, why not a margarita dispenser too? Tequila is my faaaaaaavorite. Then I'll be in the news for dying of dehydration or alcohol poisoning instead of for saving orphans from a burning building by shape-shifting into an elephant for the children to ride to safety on, then using my water-filled trunk to put the fire out. Then I shape-shift into an eagle to make my exit, although my powers don't limit me to just animals, but that's what I would probably want to become the most. Animals are my faaaaaaavorite. Speaking of animals, I recently watched the live-action Jungle Book and it is spectacular. The story line is better and little Mowgli is so great to watch. I will always love the animated version too.
Lord help me more than that.
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