Makes Scents

 I tend to blaze through work once I sit at my desk. Then I have a little time to eff around before the phone calls start rolling in. I miss working with Brandy, she's been working elsewhere for over six months now - the world is so unfair. A small cast is fine, but the remaining people don't care to host a pot luck like she did. With her quiche and laugh, what a freakin' prize that Brandy is! What do I bring? I just chug through work and am sporadically funny, but I'm not going to play "guess my fart" with anyone else. Her feelings were right there on her sleeve, so feminine and beautiful. Le sigh. May she never change. Can't wait to hang out with her again.

 Ooooo, I get to go to some hot springs later this month with an ol' friend! Boy do I need it. 

 Ooooo, there's a Cackle of Crones that meet in an apartment downstairs and I've been going over there lately. The services are right up my alley, practicing gratefulness, energetic, and more intuition based than the patriarchal system I was raised in. Woof, I don't think I could sit through another service where I'm told how incomplete and sinful we are. Like, look, I'm complete AND a part of a bigger picture, ok? My "sins" are there to add spice to this cosmic gumbo, ok? Thanks for the years of making me feel like men and their ideas were more important, I'm good. Haha.

Diff Strokes

Have we been celebrating our differences? How do we do that? Like, how do I expose myself to people different than me? If we're actually interested in doing such a thing it seems that we should be aware of our own smallness first. We want to offer up ourselves as a bit of a precious little gift, we certainly have just as much to offer as anyone else. Are we smarter than other people? Fuck to the NO. That's not how people work. No matter how much we think we know, there are unknown variables that we can never know. Not ever. Are we going to win everyone over with kindness? Fuck to the NO. You will never please the entirety of humankind or even just twelve people at once, probably. Judas in the house, bitches. jk.

It's great feeling comfortable in a wide variety of places and settings and finding beauty in other cultures. It's not like there's a big event for literally everyone, though. Is there? Most groups have an event and say everyone is welcome, but let's face it, most folks ain't going to that. 

In my past, I went around to homes and knocked on people's doors to discuss the bible and that if they wanted to make it a whole thing they could have a world-wide family of mostly decent, well-meaning people they could call brothers and sisters. My strengths were not in converting anyone, but I felt like I was pretty good at befriending the existing members that felt they were kind of weird. Like, reminding them that being weird is not an indication that something is wrong with you, simply being human is an indication that something is wrong with you, so let's make art and laugh. I do miss a congregation setting as I've parted ways with this organization, but I can get the same social high at the bar I frequent on open mic night. The feeling that I'm helping others is a bit low and it has crossed my mind on many occasions that visiting strangers at their homes is still technically allowed. Just to talk about beliefs or feelings or current life events. If they're open to another visit, we can make arrangements. It sure would confuse people, showing up and being like, "Hi, my name is April. I know you weren't expecting me, but, like, how ARE you?" and then invite them to a comedy show or something. 

Ub Yooss

Lesson: DO NOT LET ANYONE STAY IN YOUR HOME WITHOUT A CONTRACT THAT STATES YOU CAN ASK THEM TO LEAVE AT ANY TIME AND THEY MUST COMPLY OR WILL BE CONSIDERED TRESPASSING

...or something like that. Phew!

See if my naive butt trusts a weirdo again.

UGH.

More VooDoo News Dude

Spent the past weekend in Denver. It's not a crime to be a topless woman there. I also got more of them VooDoo Doughnuts. You know it.

I took many walks down Colfax and my friend Emily had never visited the city before so we were little explorers. We walked to an open mic on Saturday at Wild Corgi Pub. Sammy Anzer performed and Alex told me later that he stole a South Park joke that I laughed at. After the show Emily went off with new friends. I went back to my cousin's place and went to sleep. The next day we walked some more and met many people and helped a man named Derrick that spent all his money on weed because he sure is honest. I guess. Walking is what's up. Freedom is what's up too.

Emily and I have several videos we're dying to post on some platform, maybe right on this-here blog. We have much entertainment and fun to provide to the people. I'll make it a point to put some videos on here this evening. The video of Emily topless in Denver will be a fun one:)

Sweaterz

"HeeeEeeeeY"

A lovely woman named Theresa gave me a couple sweaters recently - people are darling!

I'm attempting to pin down some lyrics for this track:

It's not always easy, or ever easy. Either it's difficult to put something into words, or it was difficult before putting it into words.

Tomorrow I start training for a new job at a call center, just answering billing questions and taking payments and doing stuff in peoples accounts and hopefully rising to the top of the company and smoking cigars and owning a sports team or whatever. Can you own a tennis player? It's just a one person team and seems somehow wrong, doesn't it? I guess I should at least TRY to own a tennis player one day.

Tuesday was my last day at a temporary job helping at a voter service and polling center as a supervisor. It was actually quite exciting being in a position like that, my team was fantastic and I was able to connect with all of them - they seemed to appreciate my temperament too. I'd like to thank my dad for the natural leadership abilities, he ran a business and lead a team of workers excellently. You certainly cannot demand respect from people, but it will come when they see your impressive work ethic and the pride you take in a job well done. When it becomes hectic or there are setbacks, solutions are there. We ran out of a form and someone went and made copies. We had huge crowds and got them all taken care of. I saw someone getting worn out and gave them a more manageable task. All with a smile because that junk was FUN and no one was even close to dying so there was nothing to freak out about. A couple of friends came in to vote too. A familiar face is such a delight!

Open mic night on Monday was also really fun, I laughed heartily when Oshee stood with the mic stand oddly dragging between his legs. I received a copy of an experimental spoken-word recording from Brandon. Matt can improvise so flawlessly when a heckler arises. Sarah is an amazing poet that gets on stage and delivers hilarious one-liners. Dude with a moustache poured his cringey heart out. George did weird stuff (very well!) What a night. I'm determined to perform next time. Therapy yesterday was great too - the last few minutes were spent gushing over Tim & Eric. Haha.

Jorb

People ain't that bad. Statistically I think we're okay. For instance, I'm quite often among lots of strangers and I've never once witnessed a stabbing. Most of us haven't, if I'm not mistaken. Even if I had witnessed a stabbing it would definitely stick out as an unusual moment. All of this lack of threat toward our life is ...great? We just get all the killin' out of the way with wars maybe? Not sure where I'm going with this, I make no promises except that I can ramble like a mo fo.

The job search is ON. I'm ready to overcome poverty and claw my way to a simple, peaceful existence. Any time I question myself, I just have to remember I'm the only one that can answer myself. And I make my answers positive and uplifting these days. More "why not?" than "why?" - more "how could it get any better?" than "how could it get any worse?". Lots of accepting advice from sources of wisdom that I connect with. Mentally, the results have been beyond the wildest dreams of former April. Current April feels good, looks good, is good. Good enough for a home of her own? Good enough to be content with her daily challenges? Good enough to make her own well-informed decisions? AWWWW YEEEEAAAH!

Hertz

My body is so sore right now. When I get to a gym (not often enough) I really go wild. Yes, it hurts. There's no catching up on what should be regular exercise. I have been losing a bit of weight over the summer, it's nice to hear a friend say I "just keep getting skinnier". I've been keeping lighter by not eating a ton. Getting some weight exercises in makes me strong and way happy.


The beautiful and talented Charlotte Rogers performed at open mic on Monday. Man, her sweet voice tickles my soul. She wants to jam with me! Oh, the possibilities!


Right now I'm at... THE LIBRARY! duh. Was just working on my resume and a cover letter and I'm going to DHS later to ask for sad, poor people money to keep me alive and crap. Haha. Ugh. What a shame that I happen to be so poor. This too shall pass. I enjoy working. Just need to focus on the work that pays I guess.


Dang, I love people.   

All 2 Common

Sometimes I'll look on Craigslist at the strictly platonic personal section to read what women are writing in their attempt to make friends. There are so many women about my age realizing they have no friends and I enjoy meeting new people, so maybe if someone writes something good enough, I'll respond. I tried meeting one lady, but then I got sick when we were supposed to go out to dinner and had to cancel. Then it seems that another lady she also met via Craigslist became the friend she was looking for anyways. I was invited to an expensive Mother's Day brunch they were going to and I had to decline for lack of money (and lack of ever celebrating Mother's Day, so I could care less - which would probably be the most sad and shocking thing these women have ever heard).

I posted on Craigslist to advertise my pet portraits and someone that lives in my neighborhood sent me a text. They liked my art and wanted to know if I'd teach their kid how to use colored pencils. We were going to meet at the park, but then they cancelled and when I tried to reschedule recently they never responded.

I'm starting to see what's wrong with a seemingly vast majority of people. We aren't really into people. It's sad when we don't get to know our neighbors and so many don't have friends. I'm getting infected too. I don't tend to hang out with people that are different than me. Is it because there's no benefit to it? No - it's because I'm a butthole and I just want people around me that will understand everything I say and laugh at my jokes. Should I just accept that? Probably. But I prefer the turmoil that comes with trying. The butthole that wouldn't quit. I'm an "in-your-face" kind of butthole! A great tagline for someone that wants to be your friend. Spell check keeps hating on the butt+hole compound word. Spell check is a butthole.