The Hog of Santa Fe

In our global economic situation it has occurred to me that were we more like an animal, we would somehow be taken care of.
  "What is an economy?" the Hog of Santa Fe queried. "a what?", replied his horny sow. Then they had relations, not worrying about how to feed the fifteen piglets that were to come in three months and three days, not worrying about the appearance of their actual pigsty, not worrying about terrorists, not worrying about a lump or hydrogenated oil, not EVEN worrying about the SWINE flu!
  To quote Winston Churchill, "I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
  However, personally, I prefer cows.

With A Name Like Thong

I just talked with an Asian person. Her name was Thong. I'm sure it means something respectable in the Asian land she's from. Maybe it means "Tastefully without panty lines" or "Flip-flop" or "Great in a tight spot" or "The wind blows through me".

Snake in Snakes Clothing

I had a dream last night and it went like this: While swimming in a popular spring and enjoying the cool waters flow over and under me and somewhat through me, a young girl runs up with what appears to be a long thick rope swinging it around like a lasso. This was odd. Wait, is that a rope? It was a large constricting snake and she lets it go - off into the air it was soaring then it splashed into the cool spring water, and (thank goodness) it could swim. I like the constricting snakes, they only use hugs to kill rather than poison. So it zig-zags its way back to land, headed straight for me, so I run away because as it gets closer I realize how gigantic this creature is! at least twelve feet long and the circumference of more than my thigh (which is not small). It chases after me while on land so I turn around to face it after a few meters. I think all along the snake was simply playing, this happened to be the friendliest snake that could exist. I don't remember how it got into my arms, but for the rest of my dream I held it like a baby, even patting its back and stroking it. I didn't like how the little girl threw it, I thought about the cold water stealing the warmth from its blood.

Bloggity Blog

As I was sipping the finest of brandy in my hard leather chair, which shines like a black man's forehead, I was contemplating the meaning of life and thunder. To quote the great Jason Alexander, "I was in the POOL!" thus feeling very small and insignificant in this Universe of color and blackness, I felt I should cause the earth to move under me by pushing it with my feet (some call it walking) and ended up in Colorado Springs, Colorado whereupon a certain Mr. J.M. Compo was awaiting my arrival so as to wed and impregnate me. Creating the life we now call Naomi Belle was tiresome and bloating, but because it was prophesied with many horns and myriads of singing celery stalks I went through with it. Alas now, we cannot fathom how wonderful it will be on that day when she gains the skills to urinate into a toilet. We do know that she is destined for the greatness beyond what our heads can wrap around... mmm... chicken Fried chicken.