Ga$$ed Up

This morning a thick, wet blanket of snow weighed the city down. Who wants to wake up when it's so cold and snowy out there? ME! It makes everything prettier and it's not the dry, powdery crap either, this is snowball quality! I drove the kids to school then stopped to get gas, turning the snow atop the car into sopping balls to throw in the air and watch plop on the ground, splattering while shattering - splashing while crashing - mushing while crushing - WHERE IS MY HAIR MOUSSE?!

Karaoke tomorrow. It's fun. Love Shack. Perhaps a Nickelback song. Why not? People don't want to admit it, but the audience will probably be singing along and okay with it. It was simply on the radio a little too much during it's day and being recognizable made it easy to dis since not many were into it enough to defend it. I don't care if someone openly admits to disliking Dave Matthews Band or Smash Mouth either. I should also do some Smash Mouth at karaoke.

Things are working out. It would be nice to have one of my brothers move out here to live for a bit and help pay for an apartment. Once I get a job and a couple pay stubs I'll be looking for a place, Jarred should come! MOM! Are you reading my blog?! SEND JARRED IN A MONTH! HE'LL BE 21 AND WE WILL PARTY SOOO RESPONSIBLY! HE CAN PLAY HIS GUITAR AT OPEN MIC AND GET A FREE DRINK! haha.

Cordially

MY SISTER HAD A BABY THIS MORNIN'! Little Bianca Rosa Alvarado:) such a sweet name.

The voter service and polling center job is pretty funny. I'm enjoying it so far, not terribly busy at our location. There is bound to be a time when humans are removed from these positions (hopefully).

I'm in somewhat desperate need of a vocal processor. Tonight is open mic night - not 100% sure I'm performing, but I'm going! Also, the kids and I were invited to dinner at another families home this evening. Thank goodness for the ability to make friends. Drugs can be nice for reducing the anxiety that comes with isolation, but they sure don't help one make friends. It turns out it's incredibly important to socialize regularly. If I miss a night - I feel like crap. Yesterday was a day for sleep, I just kept falling asleep and napping. Guess I needed it. Today is normal, uploaded another track to Soundcloud and about to get them kids. sigh... Can't wait to make some money!

Quirkly

Bouncing around, holding in my pee - I'm excited because, well, you see: learning is always possible and I love possibility. Learning how to spot the next opportunity. Learning how to love the best so love can come to me. Learning how to express it all and set my spirit free. A hot tear may fall, rolling down my cheek while thinking back on all the sweetness I was dipped in this past week. A sniffle and a smile, but not inclined to speak - just to listen. Finally. 

Yesterday I took a lovely walk with my daughter. She's nine and different than me, it's great to learn from her. When you love someone SO hard, you have to learn. I think my mom probably feels the same way about me. Thanks for loving me so hard, mom:) Thanks for believing in me.

Stoff 'n' Jonk

Another call center jorb is in the works, I'll be so happy to have a jorb again! I also did some phone recordings a few days ago for a local company. My voice is such an invaluable instrument y'all! There was a gentleman at the open mic on Monday that invited me to do a show later this month as well - the more I perform the more I get to perform:) The more I put into it, the more I get out. There should be costumes, hair, makeup and certainly more playing of instruments - I wish I knew a stand-up bass player. Then we can audition for the Tiny Desk thing. Speaking of, I stumbled upon a "Hobo Johnson and the Lovemakers" Tiny Desk performance and thoroughly enjoyed it. The sound quality on those videos is always top-notch.




It's a bit chaotic and I very much relate to the style and love what some may call a "cringeworthy" display of emotions. Hahaha. My son saw me look this video up and wants to watch it now, byeeeeeeeee.

Mew $ick!!!

Music. 'nough said.











Even though I've said enough, I will go ahead and ramble a bit: These are all tracks I made and have been using as background tracks for my singing/rapping/spoken word performances at a local open mic. It has been phenomenal being able to find my way back to the stage. Much like a volcanic eruption, I get up there and am ready to burst with scalding heat and frightening explosions. There was an evening I went and wasn't planning on performing - but then a couple sitting at the bar recognized me and asked if I was going on and that they were there specifically to see me... ME?! Unfortunately they didn't stick around long enough to see me join some other regular performers on stage improvising some amazing music together. Seriously incredible moments are shared on that stage. Lisa playing the fiddle, Puppet on the guitar, later joined by Ben Morse on guitar and J Oso Boogie joining in with rap vocals and even Andrea Stone, the host of the open mic came to sing along. Talent and joy flowing like lava into an ocean of ears and hearts.

MegaFertz

This past Monday was pretty fun: Matthew and I wrote a beloved commercial for a made up product called Güpleflorp and I even made a bit of bizarre background music and a jingle and we read it aloud at the open mic. There's this regular that's always in a tie-dyed shirt named Tom that only got to see the last bit of the skit - but he was digging it and we had a great conversation that night. Eventually we'll turn it into a commercial to share online.

I'm in the process of trying to get a position at a local marketing agency working on dem SEOs. I also got some help signing the kids up for before and after school care, which is an immense relief for me getting a regular jorb. Now I just have to do a million tiny things to complete whatever the process is - get immunization records, physicals, initial here, sign there, come up with $100 for fees, and boom - I'll be dead.

Hahaha.

Ugh, my tummy hurts. Perhaps I shouldn't gorge myself on rotisserie chicken and gallons of coffee. Coffee that must not contain any freakin' CAFFEINE! P.O. Boxes are kind of expensive. And how weird to have a 3" x 5.5" box, aren't there supposed to be three dimensions? The depth isn't listed anywhere.

HEY - I have a gut feeling that things are going my way *BUT* it is unfortunately, sporadically, and intensely overcome by depression, which is exhausting. Like a heavy train chugging along until an unforeseen force brings it to an abrupt halt. Getting back up to speed over and over again wears on me and the halts are manifesting in the form of physical sickness. Insane hives, a never ending cold, nausea, tiredness. Certainly this is temporary, I recognize my NEED to prioritize self care now. AND to pace myself and be smart. I have somewhere to live, people that care, children that are nothing less than divine gifts, freedom, creativity, strength, rotisserie chicken, coffee, lunchables. Yeah... things are going my way.