Ded Leeves

 It doesn't feel like I'm putting much effort into having fun, but DAAANG, I've been having some FUN lately. As Brandy reminded me today: "time flies when you're having fun" and in just one more year our daughters will be fifteen - which we designated as the age they have to be to watch these adorable video interviews I did of them back when our families lived together. They were only like, eight or nine and fifteen seemed so far off at the time. Today we celebrated Genevieve's fourteenth birthday with a tea party at Miramont castle in Manitou Springs. 

We also recently went to a Halloween party on the other side of town, the multi-layer dip with a spider web of sour cream and spider made of black olive was impressive.

Oh, and did I mention MY MOM GOT TO STAY WITH US FOR A MONTH! She left October 25th as we were just getting used to her. haha:)

And on Friday the 13th, a group of friends and coworkers went to a horror themed burlesque show at La Burla Bee. "Jason WhoreTease" c'mon, that's silly.

Very good times. This year has been solid, and this season has been oh, so sweet. 

BURNING

It's snowy up in here. Hoping to leave work early today, driving on icy roads is only made worse when it's dark out.

Wait... I'm actually in Hawaii right now. In a hammock. With the best margarita I've ever tasted. The kids are playing in the sand and the breeze is too right. A man with a surf board is walking up to me. Hold on...


He let me know that he appreciates my smile and gave me $40,000 and a puppy! It's a perfect little Clumber Spaniel that knows how to surf and his name is Yung Salty. We all walk back to our bungalow and make tie dye shirts and eat fresh papaya on the back patio, where a friendly yellow garden spider is wrapping up a snack as well. A neighbor comes over and asks if we can help her move a piece of furniture. I love seeing inside a new friend's dwelling, and hers is so beautifully decorated. Years of narrowing down just the right embellishments. What an artist. She invites us over for dinner on Sunday, several of her family members are coming and there will be so much food, kids and fun. We all like the sound of it. There are no assumptions about our individual levels of wickedness, it's a simple life.

Lousy Smarch Weather

I'm ready for summer. It just ain't right when the weather decides to be poopy on weekends. I'm also ready for Daylight Savings and a new place to live and a puppy and a million dollars and a vacation and a new, sexy haircut. I did dye my hair last night. Same ol' Clairol Flare Me "Rose to the Occasion" as it looks good fresh or faded with my skin and eyes. Maybe I'll have my blessed cousin cut my hair next weekend, every time he cuts my hair it looks great and grows out beautifully.

Did the karaoke this past Thursday with dear Brandy. Love Shack 100%.

Was offered cocaine again. Declined again. I figured I just didn't have that many chores to do. Not much to do at all really. No stressful deadlines. No lack of enough energy or focus. Maybe if I had one o' them corporate-type jobs and no soul. Or just went through a really dark phase of not liking myself. It's not crack, but I prefer a laid back demeanor. Coffee fixes me up pretty okay.

The snow just kept dumping over the weekend... the kids get a snow day today, but not little ol' me. I did get the tax return dough and will be moving into my own pad ASAP. Which requires a bit of time and attention during my normal work hours and it'll be so wonderful when it's done. It would be great to get a place with a big closet that could be turned into a little studio. Dreams.

Scoops Part 4

The bag is empty!!! Let me say: there is a dude next to me at the library looking at pictures of Gremlins and laughing out loud. I asked him if he'd seen the movie and he said it had been a while. I asked him if he was high and he said no. I'm proud of this man. Also, I was NOT high while making these commercials. It's a blessing to have the ability to laugh at such stupid crap and you might not see the humor in it, but you CAN allow me to.

Doozy

Taking naps has it's consequences. Friday, while feeling particularly tired from a full (and good) week, I decided to take a nap. That made it a difficult night to sleep soundly and there was much rustling and jostling. Usually I don't recall my dreams, but this light sleep made for some horrific, HORRIFIC synapses that no one could possibly prepare for. My subconscious was working so hard I probably burned 5000 calories (I ate a TON the next day). Bad dreams, or nightmares, are amazing trips into a world of anxiety and great fear. It is in these virtual realities where we can safely experience incredibly unsafe scenarios and, upon awakening, decide how we would even begin to process such events. "Oh, they're dreams - they don't mean anything" is a common response, though I'm not saying they're prophetic or realistic, there is something to them.

As an incredibly trusting person, am I helping my family? There are diseases that effect people in such a way that they disconnect with their sense of empathy. They may be smart enough to know that they should display a respectful demeanor without even knowing what empathy feels like. There are people that aren't as intelligent and they don't even have the sense to pretend to be respectful. Then again, perhaps that's a more honest approach. Then there are people that nearly kill themselves in order to please others and that can be just as bad, as it could enable the diseased. These are all difficult traits to recognize if you're not tuned into them and we all fall somewhere within the spectrum of give and take. Hopefully we're near enough to the middle that there are slight fluctuations between being one or the other.

There also seems to be a form of taking that doesn't drain anything or anyone else. Infinity has always been an intriguing concept to me. Everlasting, unending, all-encompassing, alpha, omega, eternal, bottomless fries at Red Robin. No matter how much you take, the same amount that you started with remains left over. It's nothing short of a miracle and there is no tangible evidence or way to prove the original source of it, so I won't even try. Good lord, April! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?! - it's love, you dopes. Love from the universe that exists whether you're "good" or "bad", interestingly. People tap into it through different methods and it is ever balancing the state of things and stuff. For me, I like to sit and watch clouds around sunset. Breathe in mountain air and breathe out some other chemical-gases. Watching a hummingbird watching me for a relatively large fraction of it's life compared to mine. Hear the moving waters of a river. Hear the rain and thunder. It certainly feels infinite anyway, even if this is all temporary. What more could you want?