Ded Leeves

 It doesn't feel like I'm putting much effort into having fun, but DAAANG, I've been having some FUN lately. As Brandy reminded me today: "time flies when you're having fun" and in just one more year our daughters will be fifteen - which we designated as the age they have to be to watch these adorable video interviews I did of them back when our families lived together. They were only like, eight or nine and fifteen seemed so far off at the time. Today we celebrated Genevieve's fourteenth birthday with a tea party at Miramont castle in Manitou Springs. 

We also recently went to a Halloween party on the other side of town, the multi-layer dip with a spider web of sour cream and spider made of black olive was impressive.

Oh, and did I mention MY MOM GOT TO STAY WITH US FOR A MONTH! She left October 25th as we were just getting used to her. haha:)

And on Friday the 13th, a group of friends and coworkers went to a horror themed burlesque show at La Burla Bee. "Jason WhoreTease" c'mon, that's silly.

Very good times. This year has been solid, and this season has been oh, so sweet. 

Quirkly

Bouncing around, holding in my pee - I'm excited because, well, you see: learning is always possible and I love possibility. Learning how to spot the next opportunity. Learning how to love the best so love can come to me. Learning how to express it all and set my spirit free. A hot tear may fall, rolling down my cheek while thinking back on all the sweetness I was dipped in this past week. A sniffle and a smile, but not inclined to speak - just to listen. Finally. 

Yesterday I took a lovely walk with my daughter. She's nine and different than me, it's great to learn from her. When you love someone SO hard, you have to learn. I think my mom probably feels the same way about me. Thanks for loving me so hard, mom:) Thanks for believing in me.

Letting Goo

As some of you may or may not know, or might have suspected, or had a hunch: I enjoy a good guided meditation. I listen on YouTube to Michael Sealey, mainly. Right now I'm living in Colorado in a rented room with my family (husband and two little kids). We moved here after staying at a homeless shelter for two weeks. Jason-husband inquired on a website if anyone had a spare room and a kind family responded. We met up and had some Dunkin Donuts and our kids all had a blast immediately, they're pretty much the same ages, coincidentally. We've all become such good friends and pretty much needed each other. I now have a karaoke buddy, a great influence, stability, kindness... it's enough to make me cry with appreciation and joy.

Last year was so hard and so educational. We've been in this house for nearly ten months and I've agreed to watch the children over the summer and, in many ways, continue my education. The mutual respect in this house is pure delight! The unnecessary, unimportant, worrisome things are slowly sluffing off of me and my life. The good - things and moments and people - are rising up around me. Meditating has been a very important key to accepting this reality: the world is full of kindness and the universe wants us to succeed. Good wins when we fight alongside it. We may have to fight ourselves intensely too, accept and admit our own not-so-good ways so we can work with what we've got.

Now I have to go help my daughter do some origami!