Sweaterz

"HeeeEeeeeY"

A lovely woman named Theresa gave me a couple sweaters recently - people are darling!

I'm attempting to pin down some lyrics for this track:

It's not always easy, or ever easy. Either it's difficult to put something into words, or it was difficult before putting it into words.

Tomorrow I start training for a new job at a call center, just answering billing questions and taking payments and doing stuff in peoples accounts and hopefully rising to the top of the company and smoking cigars and owning a sports team or whatever. Can you own a tennis player? It's just a one person team and seems somehow wrong, doesn't it? I guess I should at least TRY to own a tennis player one day.

Tuesday was my last day at a temporary job helping at a voter service and polling center as a supervisor. It was actually quite exciting being in a position like that, my team was fantastic and I was able to connect with all of them - they seemed to appreciate my temperament too. I'd like to thank my dad for the natural leadership abilities, he ran a business and lead a team of workers excellently. You certainly cannot demand respect from people, but it will come when they see your impressive work ethic and the pride you take in a job well done. When it becomes hectic or there are setbacks, solutions are there. We ran out of a form and someone went and made copies. We had huge crowds and got them all taken care of. I saw someone getting worn out and gave them a more manageable task. All with a smile because that junk was FUN and no one was even close to dying so there was nothing to freak out about. A couple of friends came in to vote too. A familiar face is such a delight!

Open mic night on Monday was also really fun, I laughed heartily when Oshee stood with the mic stand oddly dragging between his legs. I received a copy of an experimental spoken-word recording from Brandon. Matt can improvise so flawlessly when a heckler arises. Sarah is an amazing poet that gets on stage and delivers hilarious one-liners. Dude with a moustache poured his cringey heart out. George did weird stuff (very well!) What a night. I'm determined to perform next time. Therapy yesterday was great too - the last few minutes were spent gushing over Tim & Eric. Haha.

Geez Us

The library has become my sanctuary. I've already been coming here pretty regularly to print stuff and get books and movies and now I'm here multiple times a week. The latest book I read (and just finished today) was A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking. It made sense, surprisingly, and it confirmed my belief that infinity is more likely than not. This might sound stupid or impossible: I saw infinity - felt it - experienced it(?) It led me to the conclusion that I read about in the book: no boundaries. Even though there was a "beginning" the universe was infinitely curved and our perception of time can't really apply. There is the idea of "imaginary time", which might actual be more real than our "real time" and let's not even get into multiple dimensions right now because I should probably be focusing on getting some crappy job in this "real" universe in order to afford "real" Internet. The comments about God in the book are interesting, there is always some input by some religious groups about what scientists are observing and theorizing. It's like the masses have to have science chewed up and fed to them by religion or they refuse to even taste it. At least that's what some religions are like. Culture needs to shift a bit, methinks. We all have purpose without a definition, much like the understanding of physics throughout time we'll never know everything and change is inevitable and there are negative and positive energies, particles and anti-particles at work that we have no way to predict or fully observe but HEY, we're here. The book also made some comments about modern philosophy and it felt as if those comments were directed at me personally.


The other two books I started reading are about women stuff. Leadership and regaining our diminished confidence, basically. To hear growing up that "you can do anything" then immediately "well, you probably don't want to do that because...[something about tits]" makes for a confusing message. Feeling stuck has been a major theme in my life. One I've overcome time and time again. This life won't last forever and while I've faced some negative B.S., I now realize it may very well be because I'm such a positive force. Seeing that makes my positive mass expand and I will cancel out a whole bunch of negative in my lifetime. It's fun for me. Ooooo, thunder just struck. All these afternoon storms are fantastic and much needed. Blessings!