What Thee Heck?

Something stung me yesterday:

It wasn't that bad, until I was trying to sleep, at which time it became a large, red, extremely itchy area, and this is what it looks like now:

But it has been such lovely weather lately. I killed a gigantic cockroach in the bathroom last night. I'm so done with the forest and Florida. sigh... oh well. Maybe we'll hit the beach this week and bring a battery powered boombox and some bologna sandwiches and grape sodas. I've got to go make an 80s pop song to play on the boombox. bye.

I'm ReAdY!

reddi whip
already ready already
Here's the thing about wanting to make a music video
you have to make music and have a video camera
Let's do it. Let's rap about it. Let's rap about doing it, you guys! Where can I find some free video editing software... let me finish... that WORKS with the video files that come out of my krapee kodak kamera (easyshare peece-o-krap). I've got so much to think about here. Give me JUST a moment. Please! sigh...



(mumble mumble)

Fix Me

Oh man I could use a dose of pure, serene relaxation. I just want to float to a spa where I receive a deep tissue massage, a chemical peel, a new hairdo, a manicure, pedicure and a margarita. I want all my skin to be new and I want to lay in the middle of a room filled with soft, little, white puppies, some napping, some playing, some sniffing my face so I can smell their sweet little puppy breath. Then a dip in the hot tub that magically makes me thin and a little taller. And every guest leaves with a complimentary bikini. It's going to be way better than this scene from Toy Story 2.

I just really love this scene.

"B"

A great crowd of honey bees swarmed our yard today. We gave them hummingbird food and they were really enjoying my mom's nasty sunflower plate as well...

I ate some pancakes with syrup and they worked hard trying to extract all the high fructose corn syrup their little sacks could hold from the terribly outdated dinnerware. Who needs a dishwasher?
We do. This house needs a dishwasher. REALLY BAD. Oh Lord, please. We've resorted to cleaning our plates with honey bees!
I just made a fort out of blankets and chairs for my kid and she does not care at all. Her favorite thing: black permanent markers.

Twelve

Well well well. Let's talk about how things are going: Slow. Have you ever been in a moment where the atmosphere is as thick as honey and you can feel it entering your lungs when you breathe in, so heavy and immobilizing? Things would start picking up a little if I would trudge through it and get a job, but then there's the kid and only one car and very little steam to work with now that we've been here for close to a year, here is also the middle of nowhere. Muh. I'd like to turn this around and make it positive, but I'm going to try a little tragedy this evening. Madness!

Click Here

I got my face done for the new year. The cosmetic surgeon called this one "Grinch a la Mary Kate Olsen". My face is burning and stinging with beauty. But honestly, I started the year out cleaning Naomi poop from the floor and unknowingly getting it on my pants only to stick my hand in it later on and because I had made a chocolate sauce earlier I wasn't sure if it was poop or chocolate so I had to smell it (because what intelligent person would really taste an unknown brown substance?) and it was poop, so I sat around for a while without pants on because I didn't have anywhere to go anyways. It was a pretty low point. At least I had some chocolate sauce. I put it on my ice cream. And the sick thing is....  I liked it.