I'm gaining the tools to cope with the stress that life brings. There's a ton of anxiety on the planet and when you don't even realize it has an effect on you, you don't even realize you can do anything about it. Excuses get in the way for sure, who really wants to be responsible for preparing for the utter crappiness that inevitably finds us? What if we don't have anyone to explain things to us in a way that makes sense? What if those that want to help us just make assumptions based on their own experiences? What if we think we're crazy? What if we ain't got time? What if we're told not to even have certain thoughts? What if we're told to stop crying or they'll GIVE us something to cry about? What if that same person loves you more than anyone else in the world has loved you?
It sure is difficult to separate the person from the behavior. It sure is difficult to accept that someone you love is not responsible for your happiness. Even with 99.99% good intentions there is a tiny, little bit that is doing it for themselves in some way. They want to prove something. This isn't terribly cynical or unrealistic, folks. Some would rather the person they "love" be forever unsuccessful than to accept that their way doesn't actually help everyone on the planet. Now THAT is unrealistic.
Taking my own mental health seriously has been a wacky journey, as I'm sure most are. Thankfully I have long-established habits that have kept me afloat in extremely rough times. Expressing myself openly, honestly, and creatively has and always will be a part of my life. That doesn't mean I should rant angrily, it doesn't mean I intend to offend, it doesn't mean I'm more important than anyone else. It's just what I do for me. It is always nice when others approve, relate, appreciate and encourage, but even if they didn't I would still do it. Imagine a place where all emotions are expressed in a healthy way. It's helpful to self-validate. There's no one to fight in this place.
April Marie Compo utilizing her right to free speech! (By rambling on and on about whatever)
Showing posts with label dealing with abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dealing with abuse. Show all posts
Thursday, July 12, 2018
Sunday, June 17, 2018
Win in Roam
There has come a time where my boundaries were crossed. After making the right decisions, here I was again, faced with the consequences of another's decisions. Taking them upon myself is the wrong decision, always has been. It became habit, perhaps "kept the peace", I thought to myself. No it absolutely did not keep the peace. There is a way to be peaceful about rejecting someone else's consequences, someone else's burden. Respond without anger, but firmly state the line was crossed. Stand your ground and keep your word. Don't give in to fear, don't let them convince you they did nothing, don't believe the invalidating you've trained yourself to gravitate toward. Fair warning isn't even necessary when someone is doing something to you that they would never want done to them. That law is already in them and every time they disregard it, they need to feel it. The universe knows how to take care of it so much better than you. Let it, for the love of all that is good and holy, LET IT! There isn't even a reason for anger or revenge, what poisonous concepts. Does it sound too good to be true? It isn't. It's incredibly difficult for a loving, generous, empathetic person to let someone suffer under the weight of their own misdeeds. Believe me though, it is more loving to let the universe teach them than to shield them any longer. If they're truly willing to accept help, they will get it. There are infinite ways it can reach them and none of those ways include making you feel like total crap on a stick. If they never learn to accept help, it has nothing to do with you.
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