In Fact-uation

My eyeballs are dry and itchy. My armpits are moist and unsettling. It's that time of the day again, the time of day that I would rather go home than stay at work for another hour and a half. Been sitting here with a space heater in my cold office, but the space heater is so hot and drying. I dug into my cuticle too far with a cuticle trimmer earlier - thumbs are chock full o'blood! My cuticles are just so dry, as are my nostrils. I work at work too, but all that usually gets washed out of my brain because it has never been interesting to anyone I enjoy talking with regularly. I suppose it makes for a nice cover-up job for a super hero. "What? SHE'S the shape-shifting vigilante from the news?! But, she's just some stupid customer service rep for a data center in a not-very-big city that told me all about 95th percentile bandwidth billing!"

Lord help me.

On the plus side, I figured out how to use the sauna in the women's locker room up in this building. There's a gym here too. If there's a way to sneak out everyday at around 4:00 and just sit in the sauna, I'd be on a much better schedule. Actually, I'd like to demand a hot tub be installed as well. Aw heck, why not a margarita dispenser too? Tequila is my faaaaaaavorite. Then I'll be in the news for dying of dehydration or alcohol poisoning instead of for saving orphans from a burning building by shape-shifting into an elephant for the children to ride to safety on, then using my water-filled trunk to put the fire out. Then I shape-shift into an eagle to make my exit, although my powers don't limit me to just animals, but that's what I would probably want to become the most. Animals are my faaaaaaavorite. Speaking of animals, I recently watched the live-action Jungle Book and it is spectacular. The story line is better and little Mowgli is so great to watch. I will always love the animated version too.

Lord help me more than that.

Presidon't Hate

Dude. Everyone is an individual. Now look at my sweet Jason and I make faces, for we are happy together in that very moment back in June:

Breef Broff

I have to write this blog really fast because I only have 5 minutes until I have to leave. This blog is specifically intended for the universe, namely, everything that exists:

Why are some people such absolute turds?!

And this concludes this blog entry. Thank you for reading.

...boy, I have like, 4 minutes left. Maybe I shan't conclude right now. Maybe I'll go on to discuss such topics as pot roast, baby carrots, and amazing mashed potatoes.

nope. I took too much time thinking about gravy and now I'm out of time. bye.

No Shave Life

It's November and that means a bunch of dudes not shaving at work. Little do they know I haven't shaved my legs and armpits for like, a year. There are a lot of ideas that people think are super concrete or something. More and more I feel like maybe I'm here just to surprise people, hopefully pleasantly. I enjoy watching people from up high, seeing their tiny cars driving by and the trains carrying fuel and all the buildings they work and live in. I love looking into lit offices in big office buildings at night, hoping to see a single person in there staring out at me. "I was looking back to see if you were looking back at me to see me looking back at you".

Another precious, easy Tuesday. Am I an adult? I always got the feeling that adulthood would feel different. My resistance to loans and ownership has paid off. We never really own anything anyways. We just claim something is ours until we die. Really we should just take care of each other and be reasonable. Ain't that some hippie crap?! I got a fortune from a cookie that said, "everything in the universe is perfect - even your desire to improve it"

...now I want Chinese food. UGH, I love all the food in the world. I don't like being in one place all day long though. I'd like to work remotely more often. Or just not be here so much. I keep getting sucked AND pushed back in. I have a problem with authority - in that I don't seem to have much of it. Asking for things that might make me feel my best is just not easy. I know I don't need much, but the asking is incredibly scary. How annoying! I'm more annoying, my life is more annoying, every task is annoying. It's in my bones. Even my daughter is often afraid to ask for things, which is ...annoying! I've passed on my super annoying trait and it's going to take a lot of work to combat it. Cute. I love her and my mom loves me and we'll just stick together and help each other. Aw, now I feel okay.

Rocktober

We just went up to the Rocky Mountain National Park a few days ago with our ol' pal Brandon. It was, of course, incredible. Mountains are something I didn't really think I'd get into growing up in Florida. They were always a feature in paintings and illustrations of paradise. Now I live right next to the Rocky Mountains and my brain is ever aware of them. They're beautiful, thought-invoking, inspiring, humbling, all the stuff you'd think they'd be. They're weird too. You get to a certain altitude and trees shrink and life gets sparse. The cold and snowy peaks where rivers are conceived and geology rules. I imagined so many deaths from falling! We were so high up there on giant, jagged, hard, unforgiving rocks! What a time to be alive in this universe, on this planet where there is enough calmness to allow life like mine. I can imagine this planet's molten past and fast-forward through the atmosphere's gradual creation. It took an unimaginable amount of time to solidify this much - and earth's plates are STILL floating around, crashing into and pulling away from each other, forming mountain ranges that appear stationary and infinite and immovable. Sacred.

Jumble Booque

Science parties are where it's at. We drove about an hour east into rural Calhan where the stars are MUCH more visible. Here, Jason is enjoying a drink with dry ice in it. 

Below you will see an impressive corn starch fueled fire

Moving on to the next day, my little niece! She is so great and SO hungry. I'm told she was born smacking her tongue, ready for some booby:)

Happy 39th anniversary to my parents, I made my mom a carrot cake. She always makes sure she's there for us when we need her. Dad is so generous in sharing her and keeping her so happy.

Tasted real good. Just a box cake with homemade cream cheese frosting, walnuts and the same cream cheese frosting with food coloring splooged about in semi carrot shapes.

Her favorite

Sigh-ence

My sister's baby was born... is born? Has been born? She's out! She looks beautiful (of course) from the pictures I've seen. Babies are somethin'. Can't wait to meet her.

Chemical reactions are somethin' too. We're going to a science party tomorrow and I'm going to make one o' them explosive foam concoctions. I even saved a pretty vinegar bottle to use. Looks a bit like a round boiling flask. Wish I could get my hands on some 30% hydrogen peroxide. Maybe I should cook some meth and make a profit. Or not. Oh, I have to remember to grab some eye protection.

I've been dressing like an art teacher lately. Jason got me this dangly bohemian sweater and it's frickin' freezing in my office! It's nice and cool outside too. G'bye summer, I hardly knew ye.