Y B Sad?

It's not hard to help in small ways. I get so sad thinking about what certain other people aren't doing, I should know better. It's not hard to see why they'd make different decisions than I would. The small ways I can help seem counterintuitive, but it turns out it's not selfish at all to make sure I'm happy and healthy. It's not selfish at all to make sure you're happy and healthy. 

There was a lot of processing in 2023, I've made less money this year than last, and even less than the year before that. Yet, I've never had more savings and I've never had more fun with my kids and I don't think I've ever felt so... proud and content and close to my friends and capable and worthy and free. I always knew there were great reasons to live simply and not go into debt and not make too many decisions without reducing the factor of stress by as much as possible. 

I started this post while I was very sad one day. But I finished this post the next day, after meditating and playing some Mario Kart with the kids and eating tres leches cake and remembering I have a three-day weekend. Sadness happens though, it's valid and life can always be better. But JESUS FUCKING CHRIST LIFE COULD BE SOOOO MUCH WORSE I'M KICKING MAJOR ASS! haha. Soon I'll get another tax return and my beloved cousin will move out here and I'm determined to keep deepening my connection to the ever-present well of wisdom that carries on unaffected by mankind's antics. 

All a-bored

Uber driving is nice. I like people. People like it here. Most passengers are visitors or haven't been here very long. How do you think the great land of Colorado feels about these people? Just coming along, gawking and driving around, skiing, hiking, trampling, disturbing, parading, gallivanting? It seems that the people from Colorado, or that have been here a long time, have a very anthropomorphic view of this land. Like it really cares about what's going on within it - more so than other places. I like looking at it that way too, probably because I'm influenced by others and it seems more respectful and I've lived here a while. It would have been nice if several other states legalized weed at the same time. More coastal and populated states. When I first came here at 21 years old, I finally felt like I could afford to move out of my parent's place in Florida and live as an adult. Now... I'm at a library because there's no Internet at home, which is a rented room with my two children and I. Better than the shelter. Better than the car. Somehow better than being in another state still.


My kids are both in school. I'm so tired. There is a lot to do and responsibilities galore. No one is safe. My mom is right: it's a day for Dunkin' Donuts!