(S)laughter

When I'm sort of uncomfortable, I laugh. It's a blessing - as I can't control everything anyways. There is chaos in reality and the things that seem silly to me make me laugh. Abuse isn't silly, but then again, sometimes it is. Social media at times will bombard us with videos of people completely losing self-control and exhibiting violent behavior, complete with vulgar, brainless yelling over the dumbest (DUMBEST) stuff. There is lots of this footage shot in fast food restaurants. People are so incredibly stressed that they make a display of their primitive rage for all of the Internet to see. I laugh at these videos. Even when faced with these situations in real life (as long as my children aren't present) - I am intrigued and take mental note. Separating myself from my surroundings has been pretty easy for me. Once in first grade I was assigned to decorate Easter eggs, which is a no-no for Jehovah's Witnesses, and I got super quiet and stood in a corner so no one would notice me. It worked for several minutes and I ended up scaring the teacher's assistant when she finally saw me - god, what a creepy kid! Haha. There I go laughing again. Being different (weird, really) was a good thing in my household. Still is.

People are not their worst moments, they're a whole package. Forgiveness for even the most heinous things is possible and, in my eyes, admirable. If we wish revenge for all the bad things people do, we have only to remember that we ourselves have been asshats on occasion. The best revenge is a life well lived.

Anger. There is mountains and mountains of anger that is so easy to dump via text onto one platform or another. "Can you believe someone would DO such a thing?!" - Yes, and I don't know why you'd expect the world to be free from chaos. To let horrific things happen without penalty is not something decent folks are into, hence all the laws that exist. To punish without due process wouldn't help society, so relax there buddy. Be smart. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. I recently watched a video about Rosa Parks, she didn't seem super angry. She was an attractive person on many levels and had more integrity than just about anyone. Where are the genuine people? The ones that practice what they crave? We don't have to be trampled and we don't have to be barbaric to let people know we don't approve of their trampling. Make decisions from a place of self respect, beginning with how you treat yourself. Are you floating through life holding on to some of the worst traits and habits that you would reject another person over?

In the words of Michael Jackson: "If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make the chaaaaange"

Also, please try to laugh more, for god's sake!

Letting Goo

As some of you may or may not know, or might have suspected, or had a hunch: I enjoy a good guided meditation. I listen on YouTube to Michael Sealey, mainly. Right now I'm living in Colorado in a rented room with my family (husband and two little kids). We moved here after staying at a homeless shelter for two weeks. Jason-husband inquired on a website if anyone had a spare room and a kind family responded. We met up and had some Dunkin Donuts and our kids all had a blast immediately, they're pretty much the same ages, coincidentally. We've all become such good friends and pretty much needed each other. I now have a karaoke buddy, a great influence, stability, kindness... it's enough to make me cry with appreciation and joy.

Last year was so hard and so educational. We've been in this house for nearly ten months and I've agreed to watch the children over the summer and, in many ways, continue my education. The mutual respect in this house is pure delight! The unnecessary, unimportant, worrisome things are slowly sluffing off of me and my life. The good - things and moments and people - are rising up around me. Meditating has been a very important key to accepting this reality: the world is full of kindness and the universe wants us to succeed. Good wins when we fight alongside it. We may have to fight ourselves intensely too, accept and admit our own not-so-good ways so we can work with what we've got.

Now I have to go help my daughter do some origami!