Lie Berry

We went to the library the udder day and it's new and feyncy (fancy). Library21C (that's 21st century, gang). It was loud when we went in, there were kids running around everywhere building lego rockets or something for a competition they were having. I was like, "what kinda libary is this?!" -like an old person. There are sewing machines, 3D printers, a media section with cameras, a green screen, an isolation booth for recording vocals and editing software for audio/video. The guy in charge of that department is named Roland, and our son, Roland, is the only other Roland he has ever met. I'm hoping I can take some free classes up in there, you can check out the cameras and lighting kits (they have some complete package thing you can take home) and make some movies. 

I found a better art app for the tablet, Sketchbook Express. It's free and neat and better than Sketch Guru. I made this lamp with it. It's our bedroom lamp. Ain't it sweet? We got this lamp from the thrift store, of course, but it had a different shade at first and *protip* we swapped it with another lampshade that was cooler.

Do you ever get excited and depressed at the same time, like, "oh man, I'm gunna live my dreams!" and "my dreams are stupid" simultaneously?

Bongos 'n' Such

Howdy.

I'm workin' on weird music and thought I'd take a break to write a blog about how much I love bongos, gongs, tortellini and wine.

A lot.

We all ate dessert before dinner tonight. I feel so powerful. In your face, society!

...alright, I gotta go eat some Tums, drink some Maalox, have a few crackers with manager's special discounted seafood spread and have a glass of Ovaltine before it's time for my late-night snack.

 Haha, here's a picture from our computer I just rediscovered. Enjoy?

MahMan

This household is getting really into Batman: the Brave and the Bold. It's the most ridiculous thing. Give it a shot if you have the Nutflix. I just now watched as he saved Lincoln from being assassinated. psh.

I gotta go make a cartoon. Seems like the only way to express myself to the extent I require.

OH MY CRAPS! Paul Reubens is a guest voice on this episode! and he's breaking the 4th wall hardcore! Season 3 Episode 13 BTW.

Peace out, gotta watch my stories.

La-La-Law

I love legal proceedings. I really enjoy sitting in a courtroom and watching the goings-on. I wish I was a stenographer sometimes... maybe even a lawyer. Gosh, what would I do with all that money? Oh yeah, I'd pay off all that debt from going to school. I wonder if I can pass the bar exam on a whim. I OBJECT! I'm pretty sure this lawyer guy that helped us out once was a total coke head though. I'm not talkin' sody pop.

Oh, I totally sort of built a play house with found materials!

I want to find more materials to fancy it up, I even have some left-over paint from a friend. It's pretty fun to hang out in there with candles and whiskey. #hobolife

We're getting some new neighbors soon. I met a lady and her 9 yo daughter, I think they might be it. They came to drop off some stuff right as we were putting together our hobo house. Boy, we must seem so classy. Our backyard still isn't the worst in the neighborhood, I'm pretty sure the people diagonally across the alley are cooking and/or selling meth. Breaking Bad has made me suspicious of everyone. Even myself... what?

I Don't Remember

I love cereal. Right now we have Golden Crisp (formerly known as Sugar Crisp), Cinnamon Toasters (a knock off of Cinnamon Toast Crunch), Kix (kid tested, mother approved) and Multi Grain Cheerios (something)

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT, we ain't got no milk.

Naomi was starting sentences with "remember..." I hope that phase is over. She asked a random man if he remembered her shoes with sparkly laces at home. Thankfully, he did not.

So, Arrested Development fan art  is pretty fun.

Here's a gem by an artist named Tessa Meier (she (assuming it's a 'she') actually has several gems):

I have a strong desire to get canvas prints of these to display.

I also had a strong desire to attempt to apply my own acrylic nails, but then I didn't want to spend money so I just stopped peeling/biting off my nails. It worked. It worked because I'm so cheap. I'll have to see what else I can accomplish with this new found trick.

Maybe I'll build my own real house out of found materials because I'm too cheap to buy Minecraft.

WakaWakaWaka

So "Georgia" by Ray Charles plays at work way too often.

I made a chocolate cake the other night from scratch. I had everything on hand, even stuff to make cream cheese frosting. No one should buy frosting from the store. It's not very good. Cool Whip weirds me out too.

My sister is coming to visit in a couple days, it's gunna be AWESOME! I got tennis rackets and balls so we can play tennis and drink 40s!

Roland is getting super cute and talking all cute and junk.

This is a super dark video, but you're just going to have to deal with it!

I went to the 6th floor of the building to go potty today since it was suggested by a coworker. So peaceful. They have a nice view of the mountains up there too.

I was peeking into an empty office space.

I watched "I Know That Voice" on Netflix last night. What a mistake. My desire to become a voice actor was already out of control and now... now I'm angry about it.

Lewzr

Since this month is close to over I shall write a blog.

Hear ye, hear ye, I pass judgement on thou who chooseth NAY to wash thine hands after taking a poop. What is wrong with people?

Here's a terrible digital painting I did of a naked dude. I wish I was better, or maybe not even better - I just wish someone would pay me a ton of money for doodling. I'd naturally get better.

I have a kid in school now, it's rad. I didn't even cry dropping her off. It doesn't make much difference in my life anyways. I've been missing her all day for years now. JK, I'm fine.

Rah Oi-sters

Oi, am I toisty.

I had a dream a couple of nights ago that I had another son. I was in the hospital holding him, wondering what I was going to name him. I just knew I wanted his middle name to be Tiberius. I hope I don't have more kids. But he was really cute.

And I had a dream last night that I went to a tanning salon and got burned. I've been to a tanning salon in real life. Twice as a teenager. I got burned the first time, but the second time I was already prepared with a base tan. And then I realized I'm not that person. I did a lot of things that I wouldn't have personally chosen to do as a teenager if it weren't for the people around me. People are important to people.

I'm dying to get a cat. My friend's cat had kittens and it's killing me. I'm thinking about moving into a pet friendly place. Or buying a home. There's one on Craigslist for 2.5 mil with the dual, curving staircases in the entry. I'm afraid I'd lose dozens of cats in there and never find them again. They'll become a feral clan and survive off of taco bell fire sauce packets that the previous owner was hoarding in the attic.

What's up with mansions? They're creepy.

And please, if you haven't tried it yet: MACHACA BURRITO (preferably from Monica's)

A Nudder

I was lookin' through my stash of old letters and cards and random papery stuff I've kept for many moons and I came across a card I got from a fellow Dunkin' Donuts employee back in 2003/2004. That was a strange time filled with young, easily aroused coworkers. So the card was in spanish, but apparently it translated "happy birthday son, may your days be filled with fun and yada yada", but on the inside there was a hand-drawn coupon for a free body massage. Stacy gave it to me. Girl Stacy. I didn't even think about it at the time, but looking back I now realize that she was mackin' on me.

So then I asked my husband if he accepted competitor's coupons.

Check out this elaborate tomb stone at the cemetery by our house. If you look through the hole in the middle, you can see the building where I work!

KrE-P

On Saturday evening, during a sprinkling of rain in Fort Collins Colorado while walking in the square, there was an old man on a chair moving his hands carefully up and down in the air above his theremin. He played Somewhere Over the Rainbow  and we casually walked by, but then noticed he didn't have eyes - just puckered sockets. A more depressing sight there never was, perhaps disease dissolved his eyeballs, we didn't stop to ask, we just kept walking as he somehow hit the right notes with this unusual instrument used in so many science fiction soundtracks. I assume he loves doing this, perhaps he would give it up if he had his sight again. But no human can offer that to him. Trading this for that is a fun thought at times, what do I have that I can trade for what I really want? First, what do I really want? "I'd sell my soul for..."

 People don't even know what a soul is anyway.

The "noir" effect on my phone's photo editor really brings out the underlying blood vessels in my eyes and skin. I remember my dad used to tell me I didn't know what "tired" was. I guess I took that as a challenge. I don't really look like that though... it's just the effect. Don't worry, this is me without a filter:

God, I'm hott!

Sigh Lint

It's May. Should be a good month. It's the month of our wedding anniversary. Six years it'll be. I get a free spice mix from Savory Spice Shop this month too. Something garlicky sounds good. I'll have to browse and taste-test for hours to make sure though.

Look! A digitally painted elephant!

Anywho, I keep coughing. Now the children are coughing. I hear coughing at work. Everyone's a-dyin'. There's no escape.

I'm wearing my grey, janitorial-looking work shirt today. Like this guy:

Wow, look at those shoulders! Such a beautiful tapered pant too. He slightly resembles the elephant.

Jason shaved off his hair yesterday - 1/8" all over. Wish I could pull that off. I'm suddenly in the mood for a root beer float... and a hot dog.

The Nasal Flare of Judgment

So, I've been sick for a while now. Sinuses are finally starting to deflate. The mucus is still holdin' on, but my head definitely feels better overall. The warts are starting to talk and the blisters are planning an ambush. My hair looks good though, so you know it's Monday.

Here's my most recent digital painting of a bear's eye:

I think I just heard a toot. Twas cute. Little. Darling. Co-worker toot.

I started some music on Reason over the weekend. Jason has been working on it with me. He really knows how to polish a turd. I need to get to singing though. I got some sweet corrugated foam from work that I'm gunna put up somehow in our crappy bedroom "studio". I also painted a tree with blossoms for home decor purposes. I also made a movie of our trip to the zoo.

Here's another digital painting of some experimentation/lens flare/stupidness:

I just want to paint and write and sing and dance and eat and sleep and laugh and poop and tickle and drink and stuff and junk. Non-stop.

Chaos

Marge Sebinteenf, To Thowsin An Fort Tean

I hab begum da transpormashun.

Just kiddin'. I just got a hankerin' for a margarita though. And a chile rellenos burrito from Alfonso's!!!

Fact: I love the mexican fast food in Colorado Springs. Don't let facebook fool you into thinking that I just "like" it.

I need to learn how to make animated GIFs. What's wrong with me???

SALT DA RIM!

1. Lime
2. Tequila
3. Ice
4. Salt
5. Other stuff

We bought 4 wine glasses at the thrift store da udder day. I'm thinking we should get margarita glasses too, but where will it end? Shot glasses, snifters, goblets, grails, highballs, flutes. Forget it. Why'd we even get wine glasses? Crap. I'm a sucker.

AAARRRGGGHH!!!

A Hunnit

This is my one hundredth blog post.

Once you hit one hundred, the Internet Society sends you your choice of a neon green beer cozy or a used commemorative eraser in the shape of a large, old computer monitor.

If the Internet Society is a real thing, I apologize, it's purely by coincidence. I thought I was making it up, bro.

Jason made his (not yet) famous chili with whiskey this evening. I'm going to eat some eventually.

This Friday we're going bowling. It's the 'Month of Funk' in our household and this year we're going to do something about it. Like go bowling in funk attire. I got myself a pretty little outfit picked out and I'm gunna do my hair in such a fine way. Then I'm going to watch the baby at a bowling alley. I can't wait. I made an invitation for facebook to get the word out. It's ugly.

Here's a picture from last year. It's the money we got back from taxes that we spent on a car. I hope we don't have to get another car soon. I hope Jason cuts his nard tubes so we don't have more kids. What? Sorry, boo, this is my blog and I say what I want. Plus, no one knows what "nard tubes" are. Look how long my hair was.

P.S. Jason's chili is indescribably delicious. I'm pretty sure he's trying to seduce me. Perv.

Thr33 Y33rs

Today, January 18th, 2014, marks the third year of this blog being blogged.

What have I learned? Where have I gone? Why do I keep spewing out nonsense in this format? Who will say-E-Ayve your soul? When do you eat dinner? 5 o'clock? 6? 7? 8 is pretty late, you must be latin or something.

I haven't had coffee in over a week. There are some of you out there that find this appalling and unnecessary. Brutish. Lame. Preposterous. Dumb. Infantile. Doodoobutt. But I've switched to E-Coffee.

**UPDATE: Drew stole my idea!**  (...and I ain't even mad)

I had a dream that I was lying in bed and my husband was whispering in his sleep, saying, "You're not just investigators, you're THIEVES!" -so I held his wrist to tell him he was talking in his sleep and he told me something like, "Why are you always turning in bed? You know I can't sleep. I will END you." and then I felt all scared and then I woke up and kept wondering if it was real so I said out loud,
- "are you awake?"
- "hm? yeah."
- "were you talking in your sleep?"
- "maybe."
- "were you dreaming about investigators?"
- "the last thing I remember is that I was discussing a business opportunity."
- "well I just had a dream you were talking in your sleep and when I tried to tell you, you told me I woke you up and you wanted to END me."
(and because he knows how scary and real my dreams can be, he says...)
- "Gah! I'm gunna kill you!"

Then we laughed.

Doodoobutt.