The Infinite Ramblings of April Compo

The Infinite Ramblings of April Compo

Friday, January 24, 2020

TrappR KeepR

The end of this week is wiping me out, bruh. Shouldn't have had any amount of fast food, much less the amount I consumed within the last few days.

INNIE WAIZE, it's going to be a magnificent weekend. Hiking, jamming, friending, parenting, healthing, stealthing, wealthing, breathing, and hopefully slightly less itchy eyeballs.

I'm bringing some wine over to a friend's house for some pizza and mommy times tonight. A friend recently moved to our side of town with kids my kids ages and I'm STOKED. Love me some west side shenanigans.

Last week I was recognized while I was out and about for my performance at the open mic I do regularly. What a cool celebrity status moment. haha. Being weird on a stage is paying off... sort of. This past week I stuck around and jammed with the bartender and another regular patron, we got so metal and it felt sooooo gooooooood to freak the fun out... for the one audience member that is also the host. She did say we're her new favorite band:D

Yesterday was emotionally rough AF, lots of crying and vulnerability thinking about how abused I was for so long. It's inexcusable. I mean, fast food doesn't help, but shit... SAD. How are you going to allow yourself to screw up so badly for so long? My entire soul rejects that possibility from ever stepping foot in my heart again. I love myself and my children. Many folks love me and my children. The wisdom of my grandma whispers in my ear "you're doing fine". It's only when some awful desperation settles in that my mind receives this lie on repeat telling me that the bullshit is unavoidable and probably deserved. Kindness, however, is undeserved. RIIIIIIIGHT. Done with that lie. Infinite access to love and joy is real, buddy. So eat my butt.


Tuesday, December 10, 2019

More VooDoo News Dude

Spent the past weekend in Denver. It's not a crime to be a topless woman there. I also got more of them VooDoo Doughnuts. You know it.

I took many walks down Colfax and my friend Emily had never visited the city before so we were little explorers. We walked to an open mic on Saturday at Wild Corgi Pub. Sammy Anzer performed and Alex told me later that he stole a South Park joke that I laughed at. After the show Emily went off with new friends. I went back to my cousin's place and went to sleep. The next day we walked some more and met many people and helped a man named Derrick that spent all his money on weed because he sure is honest. I guess. Walking is what's up. Freedom is what's up too.

Emily and I have several videos we're dying to post on some platform, maybe right on this-here blog. We have much entertainment and fun to provide to the people. I'll make it a point to put some videos on here this evening. The video of Emily topless in Denver will be a fun one:)


Tuesday, November 26, 2019

BURNING

It's snowy up in here. Hoping to leave work early today, driving on icy roads is only made worse when it's dark out.

Wait... I'm actually in Hawaii right now. In a hammock. With the best margarita I've ever tasted. The kids are playing in the sand and the breeze is too right. A man with a surf board is walking up to me. Hold on...


He let me know that he appreciates my smile and gave me $40,000 and a puppy! It's a perfect little Clumber Spaniel that knows how to surf and his name is Yung Salty. We all walk back to our bungalow and make tie dye shirts and eat fresh papaya on the back patio, where a friendly yellow garden spider is wrapping up a snack as well. A neighbor comes over and asks if we can help her move a piece of furniture. I love seeing inside a new friend's dwelling, and hers is so beautifully decorated. Years of narrowing down just the right embellishments. What an artist. She invites us over for dinner on Sunday, several of her family members are coming and there will be so much food, kids and fun. We all like the sound of it. There are no assumptions about our individual levels of wickedness, it's a simple life.

Sunday, November 3, 2019

The H8ing Game

Went over to a friend's place yesterday for a jam session last night. We were gifted a li'l beginner guitar recently and my daughter has been learning chords and dear Brittney offered to teach her (yay, friends!) routine is establishing itself in our lives - mostly routine awesomeness. The friends that challenge me to not be stagnant are definitely chipping away at the depression.

I have a problem with being a thing. Like, "comic" or "musician". It comes with preconceived expectations and rules. "Are they funny?" "Can they sing/play?" When the microphone is in my hand I am in therapy, not everyone signed up for this crap. I suppose I'd still call myself an entertainer, as that comes naturally AF.

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Qwik-E

The gig from August got me a paying gig for this weekend. That's neat-o! I'm hosting an all-female comedy show on October 5th in Pueblo.

There have been some great moments recently with friends and some gut-wrenching moments with my improving connection to my intuition. My upbringing was not well-suited for me, it had me refusing to trust myself for some important decisions. The thing is: I'm not an idiot. However, I was taught to believe all humans are basically idiots with bad intentions. Smart enough to ruin it for everyone else and that's it. It is a lot to come to terms with and not just be totally depressed. I'm an anti-cynic disguised as a cynic :)

I'm married to someone with the same upbringing. Plus trauma?! What a mess. Oh lord, have mercy.

Sometimes I think about a time when my children are adults and perhaps it turns out they're struggling to deal with emotions or have a mental illness of their own they must cope with. It is unimaginable that shunning them would be an option at all. Refusing to admit to my own possible oversight in raising them, when they're right there suffering. Sometimes I feel like all some parents would have to do is acknowledge that they should have done things a little differently. Should have encouraged pursuing college at an earlier age (earlier than my senior year of high school, when they offered to buy me a car if I got a scholarship yet didn't offer to help pay for college or any further education). Should have let me have relationships prior to moving (incredibly far) out at 21. Should have refrained from pressuring me to literally marry the first guy that boinked me. Eh, I guess they're perfect (even though that is TOTALLY against their religion to believe). Haha. It's funny and I'm smart and I will never shun my children and I am definitely not about to give up everything I've earned in this life to be "good" according to some wacky band of old dudes. Some wackier than others. Hahaha, y'all JWs know which one I'm talking about:D

Image result for brother lett

Thursday, August 8, 2019

In Formation

Hiyeeeee. I'm hosting a comedy show tomorrow in Pueblo, Colorado. I don't have any "material" per se, but I'm an improvisor anyways. Brittney Geisler booked this gig and while we're not getting money, we're gaining some pretty sweet experience for a couple of dorks with a year under our belt of regularly performing. Later this month I'm also recording some vocals with the delicious Ferret and his funky, fresh vibes. This past week saw some interesting collaborations at the open mic. I'm feeling the need to focus on some solo stuff in the nearest future possible.

The kids will be in school next week, it's going to be great for them. Naomi and I have been enjoying our Minecraft time, however. I punched a horse to death in front of her two foals. It was nothing like real life. Naomi and I need to work on a cartoon, she has already animated some little, fun things - a duck farting, "LOL" "memes" etc etc. What a li'l genius. Roland spiked his hair this morning before I left for work and I complimented him and he thanked me. It was just adorable. He came into my room before I got out of bed and just looked at me with his sweet face.

I spent the night at my cousins' (Matthew and Alex) place over the weekend. They live less than a mile from VooDoo Doughnuts in Denver and we walked there and got doughnuts, including but not limited to the bacon maple bar (my favorite). They are in an amazing location. Dangerous (because of the proximity to doughnuts).

BYEEEEEEE




Wednesday, June 26, 2019

'til Death

Marriage is so metal. When the only person I can control is me, the only reason I would go insane is if I didn't learn to let go of the unimportant. It doesn't mean I have to stop loving anyone any less. Loving myself is important if I'm to remain capable of taking care of what I must. Especially the children. It's unimaginable that I would refuse to do whatever I had to to make sure my kids were able to grow, learn and empower themselves. Even more reason to do what I must to commit to sanity and health. I'm not doing bad.