The Infinite Ramblings of April Compo

The Infinite Ramblings of April Compo

Monday, September 17, 2018

WHATAMIDOING?

Before doing some of the usual Uber drivin', I drove a fellow artist to see a gal he'd been forming a relationship with on the Interwebz. Had to get some pictures too, since he put extra effort into his hair game:


I just think these are great! I guess I'll go ahead and promote him by saying his name is Zander Alexander and he has the heart of an entertainer. Anywho… back to reality.

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Gar(b)age Sale!

Made $5 today off a sword I got for free last night! Also, Google photos reminded me that I'm not as chunky anymore, which is kinda cool.

UGH, I'm a cute li'l dumplin'. Yeah, the one with the clown doll is from today, a friend is selling them at our garage sale. SO MANY of them. 

Also, I'm selling the lemonade business - $20 and highly profitable! Just add kids (and lemonade).

Life is change - I need to move soon, not sure where to yet. If you have any ideas, please, let me know! 

Friday, September 14, 2018

WORKWORKWORK

In these times of stressfulness and uncertainty it is so easy to forget the seeds I've planted in recent history. Perhaps I've become paralyzed a bit by fear, but the last couple of weeks have not been so bad. I have been doing the work and planning in order to lift myself out of this desperation - the universe reminds me that it's coming - an answer. Not to lash out at those that have tried to help (through all of THERE OWN hazy mess of complex life). We are only trying to help each other. Remember.

Bridges, I want all the bridges. I dig ditches just to build more bridges. Some say I'm smart, at times my skull feels too tight. Do I even know enough about anything?

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Temper [Rarey] Tantrum

Is temporary such a bad thing? Everyone seems to want all the "good" things to last for all eternity and all the "bad" things to have never existed. Seems to me that temporary is a great solution, especially since what is good for one thing is bad for another anyway. The first life on Earth couldn't exist now with the current oxygen levels. We've certainly benefitted from the temporariness of dinosaurs. It's not like I'm super stoked about eventual death. I'm not labeling it evil either. I also didn't come up with it and I know you didn't. We're alike in that way.

...what now?

It's as if we assume we are characters, unaware of our complexities. until we're not unaware anymore. Mr. Rogers was right - we are special. Yes, I just watched "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" -what of it? He knew what message to broadcast in a way only he could to an audience he cared a whole lot for. If something doesn't add up or make sense or it makes us feel unsure of why we "have to" be a certain way or do something - ask questions and figure out what the point really is and if it even applies to our current reality. To care is built in, so care about something. Carefully. Life is dope AF.



Monday, September 10, 2018

Da Troof

Do you limit your love? Afraid you'll run out? Does that mean you're judging too much? Disconnected from the source? What is the source? When you know, is that when you'll know?

Maybe I have a hard time with details. Have a hard time with now. And I'm practicing an uncomfortable balancing act that pays off every time. Every. Single. Time.

Too good to be true? No, I just said it was uncomfortable. The trick is in making the uncomfortable start to feel good. The afterward. The result. Believe it comes and it does. In the meantime: breathe. You never have to wait very long for the next breath. No patience required. No lack of patience required.

Saturday, September 8, 2018

Trussed

It's a greaseball day for me. I've been washing my hair too often lately and now I can't go a day and a half without my scalp starting to feel greasy. GAH! Dry shampoo is sounding good.

Any day could be the day I run into the right contact to hook me up with an awesome job. And here I am being greasy. Daily hair washing just doesn't seem right to me. Neither does shaving. So I don't. That's easier to hide though:)

The expectations of American society. PSH.

When are we going to be allowed to be amazingly advanced AND human? Perhaps Europe has a better balance. Maybe I'll just go there. And not leave. There are too many people creating "needs" just to fill them for a dollar.

I love children. Especially mine, but they're all starting to grow on me. Being a good example is incredibly important to me - letting them know you can feel like you're different and you'll still be loved and worthy. You'll fail - you'll feel like you failed - you'll feel heartache - and you are perfectly okay even in those moments. You can fail and be okay at the same time. What if you never even tried? Maybe it's more okay to fail than we realize. Even self-sabotage, maybe that's just a last resort our subconscious uses to motivate us to move on when we've held on for too long. When we have faith that it is going to be better in the long run. I don't have to trust in those who have hurt me. What happens when no one CAN hurt me? What can earthling man do to me?




Friday, September 7, 2018

Foe Cuss

It sure is difficult to always remember to have faith, or to remember what that even means. That's what meditation helps me with the most. When I take a moment to stop and realize I require a breath to continue to go on, I start to remember that the air has always been there just when I needed it. So far at least. And my exhalation will benefit some other part of the universe. I've been feeding a lot of bugs lately, massive welts on my elbow with an itch that can't be ignored. What's the point of this discomfort? Perhaps to remember I was a part of something else's life. The itch may last longer than the lifespan of the stupid bug! A small price for me to pay for such a long, rich life of my own. Strip the earth of bugs and it would be uninhabitable for us. No such thing as a "stupid bug" it turns out.

Breath in, breath out. A simple and interesting system. Always depending on something else, something else always depending on us. We're responsible whether we want to be or not. Whether we can "handle it" or not. It has become incredibly helpful to remember that no matter how many times I haven't thought about it, took it for granted, even wished it wasn't the case: the next breath was always there.

Ooop, just saw a ladies booty crack at the library.