It's very nice feeling settled in my brain. Not having to make decisions hastily and feeling well-rounded has my stress levels manageable. Envisioning a plot of land with a creek and remembering the smell of dark soil, the cool feeling of a shaded little spot on earth - it's where my mind goes every chance I give it.
The weight of depression I felt nipping at my heels the last few months is dissipating. Anxiety and depression are so contagious for me, unfortunately. They're easy for me to spot and so hard for me to handle appropriately. Like seeing a cave and being drawn to it naturally. Letting it hold me and tell me everything else is too dangerous. Good thing I have no choice but to leave. Too bad when a hermit I befriended takes it so personal.
What better way to carry on than to be a balanced, healthy individual? There's a handy gauge that I've developed through life that triggers a little warning light. When I look under the hood, it may take some deciphering, but it's incredible to finally figure out how I work and what might not be working so well. What fluids to top off, where I'm leaking, what wires are crossed. The song "Little Red Corvette" played on the radio this morning, there's no escaping some external influence.
Now, who's gunna drive me GOOOOOOD and SLLLOOOOWWW?
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