FreeDump

There are a lot of really great free things. Air, our senses, learning, talking, friendship, walking, pointing at stuff, taking a satisfying poop (outdoors), body heat, interesting rocks, percussive rhythm, story listening, singing, blinking, scratching, etc. etc. etc.

I just listened to a morning guided meditation, which had me feeling like a mountain stream going over a water wheel, powering my own dreams. When I think about my dreams I realize how simple I am - all I truly want is joy and love. Specifics don't interest me. There is something calling me and a meaningful path ahead of me and it hasn't been paved or maintained or lit or recognized by others as a path at all. The only way I see it is when I take a step further into it. How can one plan their route when the end goal is so obscure? When the dream is a feeling? When it is something that requires swift adaptation and effortless compromise? At least I can be organized in thought enough to write in a journal or blog. To hold a job and feed my kids. To maintain friendships and lessen their hardships and eat some tortilla chips with various types of dips - a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. There's a place for me in the universe and it really doesn't matter what my immediate surroundings think about it - here I am. Not taking up too much space. Not being demanding. What I need comes to me when I actually need it and I used to feel so desperate. What happens when all your life you're regularly told how many hours per month you should feel inclined to share your faith with other humans (and that faith has DETAILS, baby!)? It may be about sacrifice, you tell yourself. Then that's great to hear, because I'm sacrificing a great deal to find the truth about love. I'm not afraid of men or their laws or expectations - I'm not afraid of the women that will support these ideas until death - I'm not afraid of being poor - I'm not afraid of being shunned - I'm not afraid of confrontation - I'm not afraid of thought, especially my own, wonderful thoughts. I was born an anti-cynic. My brain produces its own anti-depressants, it's starting to produce anti-anxiety chemicals too. How many hours a month do I preach now? ALL OF THEM! Hahahahahahahahahahaaha! Did you know that inanimate and dead things aren't jealous of us living things? They're just fine as they are. Trust me. Or don't.

Scoops Part 3

These last couple commercials get a little artsy. Which is right up MY alley! Actually I just finished watching the second season of Baskets and it is also an artsy type of comedy - ala Louis C.K. - a lovely shift in comedy culture and no shift in man culture. Can't have it all I suppose.

Bootiest

Typically this is the day of the week I participate in a local open mic. The person that usually watches my kids, however, is visiting with her brother while he processes some life-changing news. It is incredibly good to go with the flow and make it easier for other folks to be right where they need to be. Most of the time I find that it puts me right where I need to be too. Which is at the library at the moment. I took a turn to get here that I don't typically take because I followed a sign I don't usually notice and it put me on a path which had me pass an interesting building. So interesting that I turned into the parking lot to check the hours of operation. Since I've got nothin' to lose at this point, I may as well go out and say this is a Buddhist center. Why is it so interesting to me? It has always been interesting to me. I'm drawn to it. From the time before I could grasp reading and writing there was a concept much like reincarnation I would ponder. The conservation of energy seemed to be something innate in my brain. This is definitely not something any person in my life taught me about as a little kid, on the contrary, there were too many lessons to be learned about displeasing a creator (or mom and dad or any grown up that knew "better") to give much thought to the rest of the universe.

We shall see, shan't we? ...or not, which is fine too. Y'all, I'm accidentally Buddhist. Maybe. I do so love the phrase "Everything in moderation. Including moderation." It doesn't even matter if this is just something that intrigues me or makes you laugh. What matters? I have a hunch, you have a hunch - let's practice!