Lewzr

Since this month is close to over I shall write a blog.

Hear ye, hear ye, I pass judgement on thou who chooseth NAY to wash thine hands after taking a poop. What is wrong with people?

Here's a terrible digital painting I did of a naked dude. I wish I was better, or maybe not even better - I just wish someone would pay me a ton of money for doodling. I'd naturally get better.

I have a kid in school now, it's rad. I didn't even cry dropping her off. It doesn't make much difference in my life anyways. I've been missing her all day for years now. JK, I'm fine.

Rah Oi-sters

Oi, am I toisty.

I had a dream a couple of nights ago that I had another son. I was in the hospital holding him, wondering what I was going to name him. I just knew I wanted his middle name to be Tiberius. I hope I don't have more kids. But he was really cute.

And I had a dream last night that I went to a tanning salon and got burned. I've been to a tanning salon in real life. Twice as a teenager. I got burned the first time, but the second time I was already prepared with a base tan. And then I realized I'm not that person. I did a lot of things that I wouldn't have personally chosen to do as a teenager if it weren't for the people around me. People are important to people.

I'm dying to get a cat. My friend's cat had kittens and it's killing me. I'm thinking about moving into a pet friendly place. Or buying a home. There's one on Craigslist for 2.5 mil with the dual, curving staircases in the entry. I'm afraid I'd lose dozens of cats in there and never find them again. They'll become a feral clan and survive off of taco bell fire sauce packets that the previous owner was hoarding in the attic.

What's up with mansions? They're creepy.

And please, if you haven't tried it yet: MACHACA BURRITO (preferably from Monica's)

A Nudder

I was lookin' through my stash of old letters and cards and random papery stuff I've kept for many moons and I came across a card I got from a fellow Dunkin' Donuts employee back in 2003/2004. That was a strange time filled with young, easily aroused coworkers. So the card was in spanish, but apparently it translated "happy birthday son, may your days be filled with fun and yada yada", but on the inside there was a hand-drawn coupon for a free body massage. Stacy gave it to me. Girl Stacy. I didn't even think about it at the time, but looking back I now realize that she was mackin' on me.

So then I asked my husband if he accepted competitor's coupons.

Check out this elaborate tomb stone at the cemetery by our house. If you look through the hole in the middle, you can see the building where I work!

KrE-P

On Saturday evening, during a sprinkling of rain in Fort Collins Colorado while walking in the square, there was an old man on a chair moving his hands carefully up and down in the air above his theremin. He played Somewhere Over the Rainbow  and we casually walked by, but then noticed he didn't have eyes - just puckered sockets. A more depressing sight there never was, perhaps disease dissolved his eyeballs, we didn't stop to ask, we just kept walking as he somehow hit the right notes with this unusual instrument used in so many science fiction soundtracks. I assume he loves doing this, perhaps he would give it up if he had his sight again. But no human can offer that to him. Trading this for that is a fun thought at times, what do I have that I can trade for what I really want? First, what do I really want? "I'd sell my soul for..."

 People don't even know what a soul is anyway.

The "noir" effect on my phone's photo editor really brings out the underlying blood vessels in my eyes and skin. I remember my dad used to tell me I didn't know what "tired" was. I guess I took that as a challenge. I don't really look like that though... it's just the effect. Don't worry, this is me without a filter:

God, I'm hott!

Sigh Lint

It's May. Should be a good month. It's the month of our wedding anniversary. Six years it'll be. I get a free spice mix from Savory Spice Shop this month too. Something garlicky sounds good. I'll have to browse and taste-test for hours to make sure though.

Look! A digitally painted elephant!

Anywho, I keep coughing. Now the children are coughing. I hear coughing at work. Everyone's a-dyin'. There's no escape.

I'm wearing my grey, janitorial-looking work shirt today. Like this guy:

Wow, look at those shoulders! Such a beautiful tapered pant too. He slightly resembles the elephant.

Jason shaved off his hair yesterday - 1/8" all over. Wish I could pull that off. I'm suddenly in the mood for a root beer float... and a hot dog.

The Nasal Flare of Judgment

So, I've been sick for a while now. Sinuses are finally starting to deflate. The mucus is still holdin' on, but my head definitely feels better overall. The warts are starting to talk and the blisters are planning an ambush. My hair looks good though, so you know it's Monday.

Here's my most recent digital painting of a bear's eye:

I think I just heard a toot. Twas cute. Little. Darling. Co-worker toot.

I started some music on Reason over the weekend. Jason has been working on it with me. He really knows how to polish a turd. I need to get to singing though. I got some sweet corrugated foam from work that I'm gunna put up somehow in our crappy bedroom "studio". I also painted a tree with blossoms for home decor purposes. I also made a movie of our trip to the zoo.

Here's another digital painting of some experimentation/lens flare/stupidness:

I just want to paint and write and sing and dance and eat and sleep and laugh and poop and tickle and drink and stuff and junk. Non-stop.

Chaos

Marge Sebinteenf, To Thowsin An Fort Tean

I hab begum da transpormashun.

Just kiddin'. I just got a hankerin' for a margarita though. And a chile rellenos burrito from Alfonso's!!!

Fact: I love the mexican fast food in Colorado Springs. Don't let facebook fool you into thinking that I just "like" it.

I need to learn how to make animated GIFs. What's wrong with me???

SALT DA RIM!

1. Lime
2. Tequila
3. Ice
4. Salt
5. Other stuff

We bought 4 wine glasses at the thrift store da udder day. I'm thinking we should get margarita glasses too, but where will it end? Shot glasses, snifters, goblets, grails, highballs, flutes. Forget it. Why'd we even get wine glasses? Crap. I'm a sucker.

AAARRRGGGHH!!!