Champagne

If ever you're in Florida, and you enjoy "Muscadine" wine, the Lake Ridge winery is a loverly producer of the beverage. Located on the skirt of Clermont, Florida, complimentary tours are 45 minutes in duration and I really enjoy their red table wine. Very earthy and undoubtedly Muscadine. I just had the sparkling wine tonight and now my cheeks are just as pink as the beautiful sparkling wine (champagne) that caused said pinkness. I've discovered having a drink makes me want to blog.

I ran barefoot in the sand today, I don't think I've ever been so sweaty. I've been playing tennis a little more regularly lately too. I like that sport. I'd like to lose about ten more lbs and it is reluctant to part from me.

I had a strange feeling last night, my body was tired and my brain was over-active and it felt like I had another head floating out of my head, like I was trying to escape my own body. I had to talk myself out of floating away. Thankfully I was able to convince myself to stay, but I don't necessarily want my body to hold me back from doing whatever my brain wants to do. Although floating away and visiting someone would have been nice, but they wouldn't have seen me anyways, since my body was still at home. Yep, I'm crazy...

crazy-sexy-cool

Reward

People love cats. Like, probably too much. I don't love them TOO much, but I can see the attraction, they're beautiful and bury their poop and catch rodents and you can pet 'em. This is my cat "Favorite" making the most of her stupid life by getting unstuck from the tree she got herself stuck in:

Then I used her to dispose of some left-overs which happen to be...

sardines! I think she enjoys her stupid life.

Croak

GASP!

What is this subject upon which my headlights glowed
This detestable little gremlin hopping queerly in the road?
'Tis neither mouse nor finch nor little, gleeful creature that has showed
but none other than the frowning, putrid, hateful, monstrous toad
I cringe to think a creator enforce that life to him be owed
and I make a final decision to release him of his load
Steering steadily with certainty, aiming so that he'll be mowed
A fleeting calmness enveloped me when I sensed his guts explode
Then my thoughts turned to the slime-pit he once called his abode
There could have been a winsome future with his tadpoles that have growed
and now they lack a father, 'tis my head upon which his blood has surely flowed.
-April Compo

It's Muggy Down Here

I've been enjoying the never-ending supply of mug shots available online these days:

This person is pretty adorable. Like an old, racist cartoon. White Face.

This one is quite the catch as well. If you like B.O. and bad checks. That former neck-area-turned-chin sure looks soft. The extreme part in the hair ALMOST distracted me from it. And friends, there are many, many more where these came from. Be careful though, you might come across someone you recognize. Then it's uncomfortable. Just ignore it.

That's Astronaughty

Let's think for a moment about a traumatic event in your life. They're the easiest events to recall. Probably you have thought about it over and over before reading this blog. Now really let the moment sink in, give yourself a few more seconds before reading on...

...Now rethink the traumatic event but this time as if it occurred in outer space, everything and everyone around is floating. Makes it seem a lot more fun doesn't it?

This is what happens to my brain when I am dealing with stress. There comes a point when I can't keep myself from thinking about what would happen if [insert hilarious circumstance]? Well, I came home to find my husband unconscious and covered in vomit*... there's pickles in the vomit**. Haha, pickles. But now they're floating around! I don't mean to portray myself as unsound, just open. I enjoy life more when it has been injected with undue humor. We can go on forever wishing things didn't happen, or we can grieve for a good while and then move on without the limb that was blown off by a mine and is now floating around*** an unknown location that you're hoping is in front of the face of the person that thought it was a good idea to invent mines (even though they were around somewhere between the third and 13th century in China), that butthole.   

*For example
**Totally true!
***Yes, we're still doin' the no gravity thing, but I don't know if mines would work very well without gravity.

House Whiff

The People's Court. I love the dude narrating at the start of each case. What's up with him? SIGH...

It's a sample picture that came with the computer. Welp, gotta go change the biggest pee-filled diaper I've ever laid eyes on. Have a nice day, enjoy the higher debt ceiling everyone!