Pink Himalayan Cheeks

You're here for more Giggle, I can tell. Let's just start off with a poorly lit video then, shall we?

Watch it a few dozen times and then we can talk... I'll wait...

_______

Hi, you have your cootie shot, so it's business time. Or hammer time. Or clobberin' time. I'm making some salmon for dinner tonight. With rice and broccoli or maybe roasted vegetables. I think I'll go get a bulb of garlic and piece of ginger and some Pink Himalayan fine sea salt. 

I've been doing some speed typing tests to improve my typing skills, it turns out I'm not very good. 

Why do people leave huge wads of toilet paper in the freakin' toilet? Who doesn't look to see what they're leaving for other people to deal with? It happens a LOT. I worked at a Dunkin' Donuts and I was the only one willing to clean the men's bathroom which was left in a state I would call "Dookie Apocalypse". A customer came up to my coworker and I and got all irate about the mess and was like, "how do I know your entire establishment isn't just as disgusting? ...I'm going to inform the health inspectors [blah blah blah]" It wasn't one of those built-up-over-time messes, like a port-o-potty. It was clearly one guy that had problems. So I put on my gloves and got me a bucket of bleach water. I was the hero of the day! When I left that job for an office job, the old woman I worked with from New Jersey said, "I'm gunna miss ya kid, you're a damn good worker." Working at a shop that sells greasy dough with coffee in the crappiest part of town isn't for the faint of heart. When I was by myself working there one fine day an old man kept winking at me and he even stuck his tongue out seductively(?) He asked me if I liked to party. I was so confused/entertained. Always a sucker for the awkward, cringey stuff. At the time I didn't even know what was meant by "you like to party?". So I said yeah. Haha. 

Budge It

I'm pretty good at saving money. It must be my inherent lack of desire for stuff and junk. There's just no hole to fill. I love buying art supplies, but I don't go overboard. I eat too much, but it's still not THAT much. Everything in moderation, except humor. Laughing is something I can never get enough of. Building my credit has been pretty fun lately too. It's like a game and I think I'm starting to win. Took me long enough. UGH. My husband sent me this video, which explains why so many people suck so much:

But his hair is probably too distracting. In the words of Rick Sanchez: "I'll tell you how I feel about school, Jerry: it's a waste of time. Bunch of people runnin' around bumpin' into each other, got a guy up front says, '2 + 2,' and the people in the back say, '4.' Then the bell rings and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or somethin'. I mean, it's not a place for smart people, Jerry. I know that's not a popular opinion, but that's my two cents on the issue."

_______

Giggle does some serious yard work, then treats himself to a delicious treat!

Mairtull Blister

Oh sweet adulthood, how you've forced me to grow. I've put in too much work to give up now. So much work. I'm not even proud of a lot of it. I don't even think I should know some of the stuff I now know. It must be love. Hopefully it doesn't go unnoticed forever.

...and if it DOES go unnoticed forever? OH WELL - Giggle iz in da howzzzzzzzzzzzze!

________ 

Wonder what the weather is like today... huh, let's check the Giggle News Network (GNN): 

Cruz Boog '16

Energy drinks - occasionally I'll partake. Whoa, the skin on top of my hands is so dry right now. All I have is this smelly lotion at my desk.

I put the lotion on and it took 47 minutes to rub that crap in. Had to stand there talking to someone while rubbing my hands together vigorously. The skin looks a tiny bit better. I'm just aging is all. The little skin triangles start to get bigger and looser on the backs of my hands. Is that a tiny scab or what?What is that little red speck? Probably cancer. Ugh. Should I start wearing makeup every day? I sure as heck am not going to start shaving again. I don't care how much my pits look like sickly wizards. It's my way of being rebellious probably. Maybe I'll dye them some funky color. Wasn't that a fad just a couple weeks ago? Am I too late?! I choose purple pits.

I've been making a few songs with Garage Band on my phone lately. They're dumb but maybe one day they won't be so dumb. Or maybe what I consider dumb right now won't be dumb anymore. What I'm saying is: LOL. People are pretty dumb.

_______

In our latest episode of Giggle Turdman, we find Giggle up to his waist in ...a hole. Will he survive? Will he get PTSD? Will you be able to watch this whole-entire video? Find out NOW!

Goin' Noh Ware

Today started out great. Really nice;) *wink* I'm just feelin' good lately. EVEN THOUGH the red M&M in the stairwell at work is gone - you see I would make it a point to smile as big as I could whenever I saw it. Training myself to look happy might make me be happy, right? ...now it's gone. Perhaps it knew it's work was done. Perhaps someone got sick of seeing it. Perhaps someone saw it for the first time and figured it didn't belong there. Perhaps someone accidentally kicked it away and it's hidden in a crack somewhere. Perhaps someone/thing ate it. 

Molly, mother of Madonna this is one heck of a live performance:

It makes me want to say "I miss the 90's" but honestly, I can watch this whenever I want on YouTube on a phone wherever there's a signal and I don't have to live in FL with my parents. So nah, I don't miss the 90's.

______

Here's the new episode of Giggle Turdman!!! I know you've been waiting so patiently, you're so good and I'm in a spicy mood. It's Friday! 

Stay tuned for an episode that's EVEN LONGER!

Safety Fifth (Or Sixth)

You know what's not worth the time/effort AT ALL? -Homemade onion rings. They're delicious, but hot dang it's just food. Not even good-for-you type food. I added some fresh Chile powder to the batter which was a good move. Love spices. Spicy. Speaking of spice, it's time for another episode of Giggle Turdman!

_________

Giggle Turdman returns with a dramatic performance! This four second emotional roller coaster will leave you questioning your very existence:

Stay tuned for our next harrowing episode in which Giggle finds himself in quite a predicament. Will he be able to overcome his weirdness and accept the daunting challenge of normalcy? Probably not!

Giggle Turdman

A hundred years ago when I was 19 or 20 I had the great fortune of having a camcorder. If only there was a loving, older sibling around to record my dumb moments on video. But alas, I was that older, loving sibling. Joyfully I recorded the history of our boredom and silliness. Here is a clip of my brother Jarred, now 18 years old, but at the time he was about 8... I think.
This video also briefly features my sister, now 23 (and currently pregnant with her own little hilarious person!) she must've been 13ish in this clip, but really, Jarred is the star:

The only way to time travel. #homemovies