Giggle Turdman

A hundred years ago when I was 19 or 20 I had the great fortune of having a camcorder. If only there was a loving, older sibling around to record my dumb moments on video. But alas, I was that older, loving sibling. Joyfully I recorded the history of our boredom and silliness. Here is a clip of my brother Jarred, now 18 years old, but at the time he was about 8... I think.
This video also briefly features my sister, now 23 (and currently pregnant with her own little hilarious person!) she must've been 13ish in this clip, but really, Jarred is the star:

The only way to time travel. #homemovies

Biff & Chizz

Chronic stress makes the brain shrink. That's probably the most frightening thing to me. It can make it hard to learn and remember. That's so awful. I guess I'd better take a vacation. Oh wait, I have no money. Now I'm dumb and have to continue working, but I'm just getting worse at my job and stressing about my poor performance and getting dumber and dumber until I get fired. Now I'm an unemployed, desperate sap with dementia. Now I'm dead. The End.

Haha.

It's funny how stressed we can get from money. It's not even food or shelter or love. You know what might be equivalent to love? Free Chipotle. That's right, I got a coupon for free Chipotle and I just now ate it for lunch. I'm sometimes good at being an adult. I found a way to get cheap internet, don't have debt, no car payment, low rent, simple life. One way to find appreciation for a low income lifestyle is to look at the comment section on articles about trying to get your spouse to stop spending tons of money. I didn't realize how good I had it until a commenter mentioned their spouse buying a car whenever they felt like it. Having to refinance their mortgage all the time. Being in so much debt that they will die in debt. I hover right around zero and I'm richer than most people I know.

I even bought a couple glasses that help give women clean drinking water. Because I'm so much richer than so many people. Plus, I'm gettin' some fancy chalices! I also ordered a wall mount paper towel holder. Because sometimes I spill my clean, readily available water all over and have to soak it up with paper products just to throw it away and buy more for my sweet wall mount paper towel holder. Duh.

Call of Doody

I've been watching entirely too many YouTube videos. It's a strange culture, that YouTube. It doesn't translate well to regular television. Regular television requires some kind of commentary, like an America's Funniest Home Videos set and funny-voiced dubbing dude complete with live studio audience and winners of prizes. YouTube doesn't need that. You just watch as the pelican eats the duck and you're done with that video. There might be some dude talking in the video, but it's probably in a language you don't understand.

I really like the videos that are uncomfortable. Ones that have been edited to be even stranger than they already are. In fact, this is a perfect example:



I suppose Adult Swim is television that supports this idea, but there's still too much fanciness in all of it. Speaking of fanciness, "Don't Hug Me I'm Scared" is an incredibly produced series on YouTube funded by Kickstarter. Holy fart juice, it is good. Oh, What the heck, here it is:



I even posted a little video tutorial on YouTube with over a thousand views. I feel special and I keep getting thanked. Whenever you figure something out, you should tell everyone via YouTube. It really boosts the spirits when you've contributed to society.

The End

DreEm Jorb

R U Afraid of the Dark?

My daughter has a new favorite phrase: "I did not see that coming".

I'm gettin' hungry. Gunna have me some Pad Thai for lunch. It's actually an Amy's frozen meal and it's pretty dang good. Cheaper than eating at any of the restaurants around here. I keep wishing life wasn't so expensive, but then I realize that money is an illusion and we're all taught to be dependent on it even though we don't actually need it to live. I'm pretty sure food literally grows on trees. Now I keep wishing I could successfully escape this world of money without being afraid that someone will take away my children and/or force me to conform. I feel depressed in this unnatural life. Which means I should take some pills so I can deal with it. We're slaves and intruders.

My son woke up in the middle of the night (about 1 am) all scared and crying. Down right freaking out. His body was shaking and he was convinced there was something scary in the dark. We had to put the light on to convince him it was just his imagination. It was cute and sad. He was like, "it was my imagination" with his whimpering little voice. Too much Scooby Doo, or "Gooby Stoo" as he calls it.

My cousin is coming to Colorado in a couple weeks and I'm super excited. I wish all my family would move out here. I could fill my place with bunk beds and we could all just hang out all the time.

UGH, I'm so tired. Dang night terrors of a toddler makin' me all awake when I shouldn't be.

Benign and Beseven

Listen - I friggin' love my husband. It just needed to be said. I've been holding off on making any official announcements about it but I'm pretty sure it's safe to say at this point.

Vietnamese food must be had tonight. So fresh and lovely.

Our show is a week from tonight. We'll be performing such "hits" as Ringer

Aaaaand Mark Johnston will be there to help perform one of my faaaaavorites, Forest Flu

So that should be extra cool. There's a popular local punk band playing later in the night too. The show is evidently going to be well attended. Woohoo!

On a sad note, my grandmother, Joyce Belle, passed away a couple weeks ago. I went to Florida and visited with family, hoping I could give her some hugs before she died, but I arrived a day too late. She was a strong and smart lady and went peacefully, surrounded by family. It was great to see my parents and siblings. My little sister showed off her massage skills and my little brother showed off his guitar skills. My older brother showed off his ability to rough house with children while in his thirties. I'm sure those kids slept well that night, so I guess it's a skill of sorts. I have another brother too. The oldest of us. Eldest? He didn't make it down to FL. Four out of five ain't bad though. I'm glad I found a cheap flight and was able to leave the kids with the husbo and take time off work with pretty short notice. I've found that Hotwire.com has the best prices when you gotta leave quick. So there.

Gargle with Pickle Juice

Well, that open mic night led to a gig. How sweet. We were contacted by the person that books shows for the bar and we're going to do a 30-45 minute set on October 21st. Which is a Wednesday, but oh well. I'm down. I'll probably take the following day off work so I don't have to be functional. I'm not sure what time we're going up yet, so I might as well expect the worst. Performers should probably be more of a night owl than I am. What would be wrong with a morning concert? We can serve coffee and biscuits.

I would be interested in living in an RV and doing shows throughout the country or some defined region or state or tri-county area or something. I get on this kick every 3 years or so where I think I need to move really far away or something drastic needs to change. Maybe I should just ride this out until I die instead. Fear of failure until death sounds okay. Especially with children that look up to you, ya know?

I keep thinking about all the things we would try and sell, and how much we would sell them for. I keep looking at RVs on Craigslist and trying to find out how much storage space the particular models have. I've been reading articles by people that live in RVs and what their budgets are and it's not necessarily cheap. Especially if you're actually traveling regularly. But they're still encouraging.

I'm trying to monetize some YouTubes and this blog, which don't get much traffic, but maybe I'll try harder in the future. I can't wait to see what "relevant" ads are going to show up on this stupid blog. This post will get an ad for pickling spices and maybe one for visiting a state park. But what if I mention volley ball and clay animation in the same sentence? What kinda keywords are ye gonna pick up on there, Google? I sure say "RV" a lot. Probably that. Leave a comment with the types of ads you see on my stupid blog. I'm all kinds of curious now.